


bid my mother to bear witness (won't be driven from my seat)

by womenlovingwonderwoman (The_Camel_Queen)



Series: is it not better to live (turn the stones into bread) [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious Adora (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Princess Catra (She-Ra), Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, We're going Underground, adoptee catra, adoptee trauma, adora has scars, and i was like, catradora, for now, half of this is just catra checking out adora, i don't know what to tag, i have it all planned out i just have to write it, if you have suggestions for what to tag tell me, shit if you haven't read it might as well write it, someone sent me an ask asking for a fic that matched this description
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Camel_Queen/pseuds/womenlovingwonderwoman
Summary: Micah glanced up, realizing Lilly and Juliet both stood over them. Micah made eye contact with Juliet and she shook her head. There were no other survivors.He reached out a hand to the little girl, “Do you want to come with me? Meet Glimmer? I promise I’ll protect you. No one will ever hurt you again.”The girl’s eyes drifted up from behind her knees, one blue and one yellow, beautiful. She looked at the hand and he smiled. “Promise?”He nodded, “I promise.”Or:King Micah finds Catra before the Horde and adopts her. She never meets Shadow Weaver and it's only years later, restless and wandering through the Whispering Woods, that she meets Force Captain Adora.Sometimes the fate of the universe can change in a single night.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: is it not better to live (turn the stones into bread) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877491
Comments: 156
Kudos: 748





	1. Chapter 1

Catra snapped awake—something still squeezing at her heart—and struggled with her breath. As she calmed down, she managed to catch sight of the other figure on her bed, the one that certainly hadn’t been there when she locked the door last night.

“Baby had another nightmare?” Catra sneered. 

Glimmer didn’t wake up and Catra restrained herself from growling. She struggled out of bed, away from her suffocating little sister, and threw on real clothes. She hated Bright Moon at night; she wanted to be somewhere else. Most of her time she spent wanting to be somewhere else. She glanced back at Glimmer one more time, snoozing away, and slipped out the window. At the very least the roof would be quiet.

But even as she made her way up the familiar footholds it didn’t feel right. Her skin itched and her feet didn’t still. ‘There’ didn’t feel right. The runestone cascaded the entire city in soft light and gave Catra a migraine. That wouldn’t help on the roof. So instead of climbing up she climbed down, avoiding passing guards and slipping down vines onto window sills, gripping cracks and stuck out bricks. She hit the ground with a soft thump and looked back at her room—it was a long climb back up.

The Whispering Woods were uncharacteristically quiet when she finally managed to dip into their outskirts. They always preferred Bow and Glimmer over her; Glimmer probably because of her connection to the runestone and Bow because of his ‘affection’ for Glimmer. But they'd never been silent, not even around her, before. Something creeped up her spine and her fur stood on end as she stalked deeper within. She would’ve turned back but she didn’t want to, that something pulling her forward.

The trees seemed determined to trip her with their roots, mole hills appeared out of nowhere, and more than once a branch swung into her face. She spat leaves and ignored it all, trooping closer and closer, feeling a heat growing as she approached. Through the din of trees she saw a glowing light and her eyes narrowed. A bright blue First One’s ruin shone out from a clearing. A slight crunching noise to her right told her someone was approaching and she hunched down, eyes narrowing to slits in the darkness. 

The figure was tall, muscular, blonde, wearing a Horde uniform. She held some type of device, a tracker pad like the one Bow made but more advanced. The woman walked up to the door and peered at the scribbles for a moment.

“Eternia.”

The doors slid open and the woman passed through. Catra followed, leaping through the closing door and slipping in.

The castle was dead. It wouldn't have made sense to call a pile of inanimate stones dead but something about the murals and lines on the wall made Catra believe the castle had been very much alive at one point.

No dirt or dust had reached the inside, as if Catra was walking down the throat of a picked-clean skeleton towards its rib cage. She kept having to retract her toe claws to keep them from clicking on the stone floor, and her tail puffed out. 

She kept to the sides, following as the woman walked with purpose and her long staff gently bounced against her muscular back and broad shoulders. Probably a high-ranking officer.

“C’mon, Entrapta,” the woman muttered. She fussed with her pad, hitting it harder and harder before throwing it down in disgust. She kept walking, leaving the glass shards for Catra to avoid.

Catra hadn’t heard the name Entrapta for a while. Once, she was top of Catra’s recruit list for the Princess Alliance. Her technology was unparalleled and Bow had begged for hours as soon as Catra was promoted because he was so desperate to meet her. But Dryl had been conquered and any hope of getting Entrapta on their side was taken with it. Catra hadn't even wanted to restart the Princess Alliance, lot of good it had done her dad, but Glimmer wouldn’t shut up about it. Especially once Catra was made Commander.

So Entrapta was alive at least. That was nice. But helping the Horde. Maybe they were forcing her? Catra pushed the thoughts out of her head and focused on her target.

The woman walked into a large cavernous room and paused as her foot fell on a panel, pressing it down. A bright blue hologram appeared and the woman swung her staff over her back attempting to defend herself from pixels. Catra snickered.

“Administrator detected,” the hologram said.

“Um,” the woman straightened, watching as it glitched every time she poked it with her staff. “Who are you?”

“I am the search engine for the Crystal Castle Archives. I provide information for She-Ra, Princess of Power,” the hologram replied, voice monotone.

“A princess,” the woman said. “Er—where is she?”

“Query not recognized.”

“Right,” the woman lowered her staff. “Where is She-Ra, Princess of Power?”

“Query not recognized.”

“Okay, um, I’m looking for a First One’s disk. Where would I find it?”

“Query not recognized.”

Catra scanned the walls, her eyes landing on a disk that was undoubtedly it. If the moron in front of her had bothered to look around she’d probably already have gotten it. Now, Catra had to get to it first.

She inched over to it, careful not to draw attention, and kept one eye on the Horde soldier. “So what can you answer?” The Horde soldier demanded.

“I am the search engine for the Crystal Castle Archives. I provide information for She-Ra, Princess of Power.”

“Oh so you only provide information to this She-Ra?”

“Correct.”

“How do I find She-Ra?”

“Query not recognized.”

“Who is She-Ra?”

“She-Ra is the defender of Etheria. Her destiny is to bring balance to the planet. The last She-Ra lived a thousand years ago. Her successor was born nineteen years ago.”

Catra blinked. There was another She-Ra? She paused, watching the woman nod. “Okay, so who is her successor?”

“She-Ra is the defender of Etheria. Her destiny is to bring balance to the planet.”

The Horde soldier scowled, “Does She-Ra have a name?”

“She-Ra’s name changes in each lifetime, there have been seventeen trillion She-Ras. Would you like the names listed chronologically or alphabetically.”

“No! No thank you!” The woman rubbed her eyes. It was hard to tell from the distance but Catra thought they might’ve been blue. “What is the current She-Ra’s name?”

“Adora.”

The woman blinked, then let out a long, loud laugh. Catra racked her brain for any Adoras, and narrowed her eyes as the woman kept laughing.

“Right, right, yup. Totally a princess. Ya caught me.”

The woman seemed preoccupied enough, arguing with this hologram, and Catra carefully made her way around the room, towards the tech.

“Listen,” the woman (Adora?) said, “If you could just—give me a straight answer…”

Catra claws fit around the disk and with only a slight pry the thing came loose. She smirked, slipping it into her pocket and frowned when a series of red lines split through blue stone.

“Unauthorized presence detected. Security protocol activated,” the hologram called, turning bright red.

The woman flipped around, staff already in hand and ready, Catra extended her claws. “I knew I had a bad feeling about this.”

The doors slammed closed one by one and Catra bolted for the nearest one only to have it slam in her face. The next one was still open and she made a beeline for it. Red eyes peered back at her. “I knew I had a bad feeling about this!” Catra yelled. She backtracked towards the one sentient being who might spare her a second thought before killing her. “Temporary truce so we don’t die?” Catra asked.

She turned around and saw the woman struggling with four giant spider bots of her own. “I don’t negotiate with rebels!”

“Kill me later, there’s a way out here!” Catra responded, gesturing to a nearby but rapidly closing door.

They dashed towards it, Catra sliding under, but the woman got stuck half way through, her hands and staff keeping the door from crushing her. Catra grabbed her legs and yanked. The door slammed shut and splintered as spider legs tore into the cracks. The woman stared at Catra from the floor and Catra held out her hand.

“C’mon!” The woman only hesitated half an instant, grabbing it and launching herself up as they both dashed through the hall. Spider eyes appeared on one end and they raced down the other. “What are those things?” Catra shouted, their pinchers nearly catching her tail.

“No idea. They only showed up once you did!” The woman yelled back. “This way!” They sidestepped into a corner and the spiders skidded to a stop as they tried to follow them directly into a dead end. They had seconds. Catra forced her breathing to calm, her heart to stop pounding. 

“Give me your taser!”

The woman glared at her, “No way!”

“You wanna die here?”

The woman pulled it off her belt but didn’t hand it over, waiting a moment too long. Catra punched her in the jaw, enough to force her down and stun her, and grabbed the taser. She raced towards the first spider and, using her claws to anchor her, slid under and scratched the floor. She stabbed the taser into the first spider’s underbelly and it vibrated with electricity. There was a boom and everything went dark. 

* * *

Blue eyes met hers and Catra almost smiled, except the second she tried to move her jaw it ached. Her entire body ached. She groaned and the woman moved away.

“You broke my taser.”

Catra struggled to sit up, leaning on her elbows. There was a giant wall of spiders now, uncrossable. The electricity had passed to the others, like she intended. But she had been under them, how had she gotten out safely?

She looked at the woman who was glaring at the spiders, trying and failing to move one.

“A simple thank you would’ve sufficed,” Catra snarked, then cringed. She could practically hear Glimmer say that.

“‘Thank you?’” The woman demanded. “You follow me, get us nearly killed by spiders, trap us here without food or water and no way to get out. We’re gonna die here and it’s your fault!”

“Relax.” Catra sat up fully, testing each of her legs carefully before putting weight on one enough to stand. It was mostly shock, nothing broken, she was fine. Maybe a couple bruises. The woman was staring at her. “I’m fine.”

“I didn’t ask.”

Catra walked over to the wall trapping them, “I don’t care how advanced these First Ones were. They weren’t gonna have just a random hall that leads to a wall. That’s stupid.”

“So what do you think it is?”

Catra felt around the doors, searching for any grooves, then around the walls and the floor. There was a slight notch in the stone and she pulled at it—nothing.

“Hold on,” the woman walked over and punched a deep hole in it, her knuckles bruising and scraping.

The wall slid open.

The woman moved her fist revealing a mess of wires and Catra tried hard not to stare at her. “I can wrap that for you.”

“It’s fine.”

They walked through the door together.

The castle was huge, or maybe the two of them were very small, but it felt like hours, or maybe years that they walked. Behind waterfalls, down passageways, side by side, perfectly in step, neither trusting the other enough to take the back and always, always, watching each other from the corner of their eye. Catra’s kept her claws extended, even if she smoothed her fur to appear nonchalant. The Horde soldier didn't appear to have the same issue, openly glaring at her, like she was waiting for Catra to let her guard down long enough to make Catra her next meal.

It wasn’t just the Horde soldier though—the whole Castle vibrated with this—this hate for her. It despised her. The woods didn’t seem to trust her or be particularly fond, but this castle hated her very essence. Every moment Catra spent in there was a moment the castle seemed to catalogue. Her tail lashed and she felt her fangs grind.

“Why’d you save me?” The woman asked when it felt like the silence would swallow Catra whole.

“Figured it’d be easier to fight off the spiders with some muscle,” Catra said.

Out of the corner of her eye the woman blinked, the corner of her lip turning up. “You aren’t that bad either. For a rebel.”

“Whatever,” Catra rolled her eyes.

“My name’s Adora,” the woman offered. Catra glanced at her and for the first time noticed her face had a kind of softness to it. She walked like someone had a hand on her back and was pushing her forward, and her hair was dirty blonde and slightly wavy.

“Catra.”

“Do you know anything about the princess who owns this castle?” Adora asked and Catra struggled to contain her groan. Horde scum is Horde scum is Horde scum. Screw her for thinking differently for even a second.

“Like I’d tell you,” Catra growled.

Adora glared, “Not exactly good for a truce if…” And then she kept talking. For hours. Using words like trust, and mutual aid, and communication. She just—kept going on like that. On and on. And on. And on. And—

Catra groaned, “Oh my god, no one owns this castle. It’s a First One’s ruin. Whatever princess lived here is long gone.”

“Well, she said there was a new She-Ra.”

“There’s not a new She-Ra, it was a busted hologram. If there was a new She-Ra you guys wouldn’t be—what’s that?” Catra frowned, staring at a tiny floating speck of orange light in the middle of the hall. 

She and Adora approached it and when they both got within a foot it began to whir, scanning the two of them. A blast of light forced them to cover their eyes but when they opened they were someplace entirely new.

“Watch out!” Adora shoved Catra to the side as a blast of red energy hit the floor where they’d just been. Adora landed on top of her and pulled her into a spot behind a dark pillar. The whole room glowed with a sharp red electricity, all emanating from a runestone in the center.

“Come out, little one,” a woman’s voice called. Adora was shivering beside her, face pale and Catra glanced at her, and back at the woman.

A tiny, trembling little blonde girl stepped out from behind the runestone holding a mask. She couldn’t have been older than six, the circles under her eyes were deep, her hair hung limply from her head, and a scar ran up her arm.

The shadows in the room grew starker, rising higher, and the little girl’s eyes widened. Adora was gripping Catra’s hand in an iron grip. When had they started holding hands?

“Adora,” the woman’s voice called, drawing out the name like a caress. “I see you have something of mine.”

“I’m—I’m sorry Shadow Weaver.”

The woman stepped out of the dark, her face littered in geometric scars crisscrossing her face in deep ugly lines. It ate away at her mouth, her skin, her eyes. Adora stumbled back, dropping the mask and nearly touching the runestone.

“I’m not a pretty thing anymore, am I Adora?”

“Shadow Weaver—”

Shadow Weaver crept closer, bending to pick up the mask. “I suppose it’s what I deserve, for working under Hordak.”

Adora’s eyes widened, “Lord Hordak did this?“

“Adora,” Shadow Weaver slipped closer, appearing at Adora’s eye level, she caressed her cheek, “There are many things you don’t understand. But you now know why I push you so hard. You cannot be anything less than the best. Please.”

“I won’t let you down,” Adora responded but the voice sounded stronger, older, and when Catra turned no one was holding her hand and the girl in front of Shadow Weaver was rapidly regaining scars. Catra came out of her hiding place and Adora turned, Shadow Weaver’s hand still on her cheek. The scene dropped as quickly as it had come and Adora was on her knees, wide eyed, and petrified.

“What the hell was that?” Catra demanded.

“I—I don’t know. This place must be using our memories or—or—” Adora shook her head, “I don’t know.”

Catra furrowed her brow, that would mean… “Is she your mother?”

“No!” Adora looked away. “Kinda.”

“So do you really have that scar on your arm?”

Adora rolled her eyes, “I’m not showing off my forearms.”

“That—that’s not what I was asking!”

“Suuuure it wasn’t.” Adora kept walking and Catra glared.

She kept the silence heavy, hoping it would dissuade trying to break it again. They didn’t really have anything to talk about beyond arguing about whether they’d gone this way, who’s turn it was to break the secret doors, and whether that sound had been some sort of rat or a spider in the distance. Catra couldn’t believe she had gotten locked in here with a Horde soldier of all people. General Juliet would’ve been more entertaining, Glimmer would’ve been less annoying, the ghost of her dead father would’ve been less traumatizing. At least Adora seemed just as uncomfortable as Catra felt. She jumped whenever their arms accidentally brushed, and now even if the hate had faded she kept her face as blank as possible, and her back so straight Catra was sure it’d crack.

But even with all that military precision Catra was able to tell something was off about her. She couldn’t keep still for one thing. Her hands kept tapping along her sides, or adjusting her already way too tight ponytail. She initiated every conversation, like she was allergic to silence, or more than once Catra caught her humming to herself or making quiet noises to fill the thick air around them. Catra hated it. She really, really did.

“So…” See, perfect example. 

They were tapping their hands against another dead end wall, searching for the notch that’d get them moving again. With both of them now down a hand if the spiders caught up they wouldn’t be able to fight them off so easily.

“Yes?” Catra asked. 

“Are you like… a captain? Or whatever the Rebellion equivalent is?”

“Why?”

“Just—you’re a good fighter.” Adora scratched the back of her head, “I guess.”

“Thanks,” Catra bit back, “I’m guessing you’re a Force Captain then?” Adora nodded. “So you grew up in the Horde?”

“They took me in when I was a baby. Shadow Weaver she—she saved me.”

“And now you’re trying to save her,” Catra said. Adora looked at the ground, Catra fought the urge to tell her Shadow Weaver deserved everything she got and more for working in the Horde. That wouldn’t help her get out of here. What would Bow do? “I’m sorry or whatever. For what Hordak is doing to her.”

Adora sighed, “I just feel so powerless.” Catra blinked at the confession. Adora glared at the floor, brows furrowing. There was something about this place that—

“Crap,” Catra muttered as the floor they were standing on abruptly faded to pastels. The walls shifted colors and Bright Moon guards appeared at every entrance.

Catra and Adora jumped as the doors swung open, a past version of Catra stalking through with no introduction. Catra flinched, she knew what was coming.

“You’re promoting me,” the past Catra said, monotone.

Her mother looked up, blinking a few times at her daughter suddenly standing in front of her. “I think you’re up for the challenge.”

Past Catra crossed her arms. “Glimmer has magic. And she’ll need leadership experience for when she takes the throne.”

Angella rose to her full height, “I have not declared my heir, and it will be many years before one becomes necessary. Glimmer’s magic is still developing and you’ve always matched her strength and speed without it.”

“Forget it, I’m not gonna be your commander,” Catra spat. “I know you just want me to do it to keep Glimmer out of trouble.”

“Catra,” Angella approached her, her voice much softer, “You have always been so careful, so clever. Your father admired that about you, you know. He and Glimmer were both stubborn, but you are cautious and intelligent. You take your time to come to the right decision.” She put a hand on Catra’s shoulder. “I see a lot of myself in you.” 

Catra blushed and looked down, still glaring.

“I need you to be a commander because you understand the difference between an acceptable risk and throwing yourself headfirst into danger. Glimmer does not. Please, Catra, I love you both so much. As long as you insist on being involved in this war, this is the best way I can think of to keep you two safe.”

Catra sighed, “I love you too, Mom.” She put a hand over her mother’s on her shoulder but the scene fizzled out and Catra jumped. Adora was staring at her from across the room, eyes wide. “What are you looking at?”

“You’re—you’re a princess?”

Catra shrugged, “Technically. Don’t worry, I can’t use magic like my sister.”

“Your sister can use magic?” Adora demanded.

Catra furrowed her brow at her, “Have you ever seen magic?”

“Yes,” Adora advanced on her—fists clenched, eyes glazed over—and Catra felt herself shrink back. “It’s uncontrollable and destructive and wrong!”

“Easy tiger,” Catra shoved Adora’s shoulder back, and Adora’s eyes cleared, blinking as if she had forgotten where she was. “Touchy subject I see.”

“Whatever,” Adora shoved away, “Let’s just find the exit and get out.”

They kept walking, the dead end that existed only moments before the vision was gone, a hallway in its place. Maybe some emotional turmoil was all it took to navigate this place. No wonder the woods worked so hard to protect it: they were cut from the same cloth.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a princess?” Adora asked, when she had tired herself out from stomping around so much.

“You didn’t ask.”

She huffed, “How was I supposed to know to ask? Is everyone in the Rebellion a princess?”

“All the decent fighters are,” Catra thought of Glimmer not even able to do a back flip into a battle stance yet and smirked, “Or—some of the decent fighters are.”

“You really don’t like your sister,” Adora observed.

“What? Why would you say that? She’s my sister.”

“You didn’t want to become Commander to protect her even though you think she’s weak,” Adora pointed out and Catra furrowed her brow.

“Right, she’s my sister. Don’t you have siblings in the Horde?”

“We have our squad, but if they’re weak, we—” Adora looked away and Catra decided not to ask how that sentence ended.

“Well, it’s different in the Rebellion. I didn’t want to be Commander so I could go back to babysitting Glimmer like I have been since I was five. I wanted to be Commander so we could finally end this war.”

“You’re not going to win,” Adora promised and Catra rolled her eyes.

“Would you give it a rest? Your evil Horde can’t hear you, you might as well say how you really feel.”

“I’m loyal to the Horde, and we’re not evil. So.” Adora crossed her arms. She really did have nice forearms, even with the long sleeves they were visible.

Catra crossed her arms too. “You really believe that? Your leader is abusing your mother.”

“Our leader is evil,” Adora bit back, “but we’re not. We’re trying to bring peace and order to Etheria.”

“Peace and order? Sounds boring.”

“It _sounds_ relaxing.”

Catra fought the urge to roll her eyes, “What would you know about relaxing?”

“Plenty!” Adora looked away, her ears turning red. “So much! I’m very relaxed!”

“Right,” Catra nodded. Of course Adora was a terrible liar. Of course she was. She had earnest and sincere written all over her. “So that’s what you’re going to do if you win? Relax?”

“When we win,” Adora stressed the when, “I’m gonna—” She bit her lip, brow furrowing, “I—I don’t know. What would you do, if you won?”

“Well, since I’m not gonna be heir to Bright Moon, probably travel around a lot. Explore. I’m sick of seeing places only during war. I want to see them during peacetime.” She looked at Adora who stared at her with wide eyes, “What?”

“Nothing! That just—that sounds nice.”

“So there’s nothing you want?”

Adora looked down, “I—I just want Shadow Weaver to be safe. I want to be safe. I don’t know beyond that.”

“Hey,” Catra put a hand on Adora’s forearm, “That’s fine. You’ll figure it out.”

Adora’s face cracked, her lips twitching into a smile for the first time and Catra fought the urge to smile back, too focused on memorizing Adora’s expression. Her eyes were a lovely shade of grayish blue. The scene shifted. Catra sighed, stepping away from Adora and hunching her shoulders as she prepared for whatever new trauma lay in store.

It was the Fright Zone and Adora’s expression slipped back to stony, her jaw clenching. The shadows on the wall grew taller and taller, looming over them and Catra’s brow furrowed.

“Insolent child!” A voice screamed. Shadow Weaver’s.

“I—I don’t want you to see this,” Adora muttered. Catra frowned, wrapping her tail around Adora’s ankle.

“Come out of there!” Shadow Weaver burst into the room. They were in some sort of barracks, beds lining the walls. “Irresponsible! Weak! Worthless! Ungrateful! Incompetent! I raised you and this is what you do to me? You’re a failure! Pitiful!” The shadows loomed higher and higher and someone in the room screamed. Adora and Catra watched as they were dragged out from under the bed. Catra glanced at her Adora, moving closer so Adora wouldn’t be able to slip into the memory like before.

The Adora pulled out from under the bed wasn’t a little kid. She was barely younger than the Adora in front of Catra now. When had this happened? A year ago? Two?

“You thought you could hide from this?”

“Shadow Weaver no! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!”

“Lonnie beat you!” Shadow Weaver roared. “ _Lonnie!_ How could you fail like this? What did I do to deserve this!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Catra grabbed her Adora’s hand, startling the girl away, “C’mon.”

Adora nodded, letting herself be led away and not bothering to wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. The screams still echoed down the halls and Catra cringed at each insult Shadow Weaver flung. Not much of a mother, then.

“It’s Hordak,” Adora spoke up, “He hurts her and she’s scared and she pushes me because she doesn’t have a choice. If I can’t take him down no one can and I’ll be betraying her and—”

“Adora,” Catra cut off, “You don’t need to defend her.”

“You’ve only seen two memories! She taught me how to tie my shoes and read and write and gave me extra ration bars when I had a bad day. She was good to me.”

“Yeah, real good to you.”

“I need to save her,” Adora told her. 

Catra sighed.

There were plenty of soldiers in the Rebellion like Adora. Kids who lost family members and were intent on revenge. They were the first to die when the Horde came to their village—they always refused to back down, and got shot because of it. When they said ‘if you want to get to them you’ll need to go through me’ they never expected the Horde to actually go through them. It was disheartening to learn there were the same idiots on the Horde’s side too. Or maybe Adora was just special.

Their deaths never did anything either. The best they could hope for was the Horde tank driver banging the head against the cockpit as they drove over the body.

“And this is worth it to you? The Horde is worth it?”

“Shadow Weaver is worth it.”

Catra shook her head, and they kept walking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra continue to wander the Crystal Castle.

Catra put a hand on the scratch marks she made an hour before and Adora groaned. “We’ve been going in a straight line!”

The marks in the wall had deepened, as if scrunched together. The walls had moved. “This place doesn’t want us to leave.”

Adora looked over at her, “What do you mean?”

“It’s changing stuff, trying to trap us here. It must be part of the security protocol.”

“Well, how do we get out?”

Catra felt the chip in her pocket. This probably was all her fault. But if she left it here who’s to say Adora wouldn’t come back for it? She’d be able to, this place was obsessed with her. Catra could destroy it… but then the security protocol might actually kill them.

“Catra?” 

Catra looked over at Adora who’s brows were furrowed. 

“How do we get out?”

Adora would come back for it. Even if she didn’t know Catra left it here she’d be relentless. She was loyal to the Horde.

“How am I supposed to know?” Catra demanded.

Adora glared, “You’re on the side that controls a magical forest that changes direction. I thought you might have some experience.”

“I grew up in Bright Moon; the only time I’ve ever been in the woods was to defend it from you,” Catra advanced, her claws coming out in a familiar itch.

“Please, the woods don't need your defense. Do you know how many of my men its killed?” Adora advanced too, hands balling into fists.

“Do you know how many of my people your men have killed? Children?” Catra jabbed her clawed finger into Adora’s chest.

Adora grabbed her wrist, “They would’ve been safe if they cooperated.”

“My people may be weak, but they aren’t spineless,” Catra snarled. “As long as there’s a citizen from Bright Moon alive, there will always be a Rebellion.”

Adora’s eyes narrowed, and she twisted Catra’s wrist, attempting to flip her onto her stomach. Catra jabbed a foot out, finding purchase on Adora’s stomach and ramming her against the wall. She whipped around ready to face Adora and found a fist heading for her face. Ducking under, she pressed her palm to Adora’s neck, claws sharp around her jugular. It wasn’t a choke hold, but Catra knew from experience it was still terrifying.

Any Horde soldier would’ve frozen.

Adora grabbed her hair, pulling her back, and Catra yowled. She ripped her claws into Adora’s hand and Adora screamed as something wet fell down Catra’s neck. They stumbled back from each other, Adora cradling one bloody hand with the other and Catra rubbing her head where her hair had been pulled.

They watched one another with narrowed eyes, each hugging their side of the hallway.

Catra’s breath returned to her the same moment Adora’s did and they leapt.

She didn’t notice her hair getting wild or more unruly, or Adora’s getting shorter and lighter. The fight felt familiar, instinct, reflex. Wherever Catra punched there Adora was to intercept. Where Adora kicked Catra dodged. A scratch was met with a hiss, blood with sweat, fury with understanding.

“Catra?” A voice called. Both of them froze. They were in Bright Moon, Catra’s room. Catra looked down at Adora, her cheeks now chubby, her eyes wide and terrified and young. Her own fingers were stubby. They pulled each other to their feet, holding hands. “There you are!” Micah ran in looking haggard, his beard patchy and bloody, his robes smoking and charred. He was dragging Glimmer with him. Glancing around the room he only bothered to nod at Adora, “Good, you and your friend are safe. Glimmer,” He knelt to look at the girl, “I need you to stay with your big sister and her friend okay? I’ll be right back, and they’ll look after you.”

“Daddy,” Glimmer looked like she was on the verge of tears. “I don’t want you to go.”

He kissed her forehead then pulled her in for a big hug, “I’ll be right back sweetheart, I promise.”

He got to his feet and hugged Catra tight. Catra could almost smell that minty smell that she remembered always surrounded him. “Protect Glimmer,” he whispered. “I love you, Kit.” He drew back, hands on her shoulders, “So much.”

He got to his feet and Catra felt a scream building up her throat. “No, Daddy,” she tried to grab at his robe but missed it. “Don’t go! Daddy, don’t go! Please!” He didn’t even turn back, locking the door as he left.

She fell to her knees and grabbed wildly, finding soft skin and pulled it to her. Delicate hair tickled her forehead, and the smell was something unfamiliar, sweat but something else, metallic exhaust maybe. The arms were hesitant, awkward, shifting and hardly daring to touch her. She clutched them tight, aware her claws might accidentally be causing damage.

It felt like years before Adora pulled away, they leaned against the wall, and Catra looked at her. They were both still stuck as little kids; while the patterned walls of the Castle had returned, the simulation had decided to drag that part out. It made Catra want to gouge her eyes out. She was vulnerable like this. But also… so was Adora.

“That wasn’t what it really was like,” Catra said, in case Adora got the wrong idea. “In the real version Glimmer got to have the tantrum and I had to comfort her.”

Adora squeezed her hand, Catra blinked and looked up, Adora moving her hand as quick as it had come. “I wish I could’ve been there for you. In the real version.” Despite the anxiety compressing Adora’s hands into each other as she wrung them, her eyes were honest, sincere. This was probably the first time Adora had initiated a touch in the hours they had been trapped together. Catra had even started the fight. Why was Adora being nice to her? Why did she care? Was she just like that? How could a Horde soldier just be like that?

“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” Catra told her.

“I know.”

Adora didn’t look away so finally Catra was forced to, focusing on Adora’s exposed forearm and the scar that ate away at it. It was angry and red, jagged like it had been made by a panicking child. Her finger traced it, claws retracted as she felt the difference between the scarred and unscarred skin.

“I wish I could’ve been there for you, too.”

She met Adora’s eyes and they’d gone harder, grayer. “It’s okay.”

Catra pushed away and up to her feet, finally growing back into herself. Adora jumped to her feet too, matching her. “How can you say that?” Catra asked. “How can you be okay with that? With any of this?”

“With any of what, Catra?”

“The Horde killed my dad, destroyed my mom, threatened my sister, ruined my life. Why would you choose to be a part of that?”

“I was born into it. Shadow Weaver saved my life! What, am I just supposed to abandon her?”

“You don’t owe her anything. Not with the way she treats you.” Catra gestured behind them, remembering Shadow Weaver pulling a terrified Adora out from under the bed.

“You don’t know her like I do, if it weren’t for Hordak—”

“So what exactly is your plan then?” Catra demanded, arms crossed.

Adora set her jaw, “I’m gonna slowly turn the other Force Captains against him. First Grizzlor, then Octavia. Eventually I’ll have the majority. Then I’ll kill him. Slowly.” Her hands were fists at her sides but Catra fought the urge to knock her upside the head.

“Then what?”

Adora blinked at her, “What?”

“You kill Hordak and then what? You take his place? Shadow Weaver does? Grizzlor? Octavio?”

“Octavia. And no, I don’t know. I will—I guess. It doesn’t matter!”

“The leader of the Horde dies, there's gonna be a bloodbath. All of them will want power. If your goal is just to protect Shadow Weaver shouldn’t you have a plan to stay on top?” Adora kept blinking at her and Catra shoved her. “Are you kidding me? You haven’t thought of this at all?”

“I—I just needed—I need to get Shadow Weaver to safety. I owe her. I owe her—you don’t get it. Whatever. Let’s keep walking.” She turned around and started down the hallway, and Catra grit her teeth and followed.

So Hordak got to abuse Adora and Shadow Weaver and Shadow Weaver got to abuse Adora and Adora got to abuse Catra’s people and even if Hordak died nothing would change. Someone else got to abuse everyone and the war would last forever and little kids in little villages would get caught up in it for no reason.

They stopped short at another dead end. At least this one had some pretty designs on it. Catra sighed. “Rock paper scissors for who has to punch it out.”

“What?” Adora peered at the wall, “We don’t have to do that this time. Eternia.”

It opened, like a door, and Catra gaped. “How’d you do that?”

“Do what? The pass code was written on it.”

“Yeah in First One’s writing,” Catra said. “No one’s been able to read that in a thousand years.”

Adora’s brow furrowed, “I’m dyslexic, maybe that’s it?”

“That makes no sense,” Catra said. “Is that how you got in here too?”

“It was written on the door. You seriously can’t read that?” Catra shook her head, Adora shrugged. “Maybe it’s genetic, like curling your tongue.”

“I don’t think it’s like curling your tongue.”

The doors shut behind them and they kept walking. 

“So, why did you follow me in here?” Adora asked.

Catra raised an eyebrow at her, “I saw a Horde soldier walking into a previously undiscovered ruin.”

“Oh,” Adora blushed. “Why were you in the woods in the first place?”

“Bored,” Catra shrugged.

Adora touched their shoulders together, and even though Adora was wearing a jacket over her turtleneck it still felt warm where they touched. Like she had transferred something to Catra. “If I had to get stuck with any rebel scum, I’m glad it was you.”

Now it was Catra’s turn to blush, and she turned away, “Yeah, you would’ve ripped Glimmer apart. Or Bow.”

“Why?”

“They’re not like me.” Catra thought a minute, trying to figure out the best way to put it, “They believe in people. Or something. Or—I guess they believe. They have faith.”

Adora frowned and looked away and Catra watched her. She didn’t understand how someone like Adora could’ve grown up in the Horde. Adora was so sincere and open, even when she pretended she wasn’t. Catra would have thought that kinda thing got stamped out in the Horde. Maybe Adora was just lucky. Or talented.

It was weird that she could go from fighting Adora one minute to admiring her the next but it kind of made sense. In a way. She didn’t hate Adora. Even if she wanted to. Even if she hated the Horde. And fighting Adora didn’t really feel like _fighting_ Adora. It felt normal, natural. She wondered how Adora felt about it.

Adora cradled her scabbed-over hand and Catra winced. So maybe not golden.

“How long do you think we’ve been in here?” Adora asked.

“I don’t know,” Catra looked around for a window to magically appear. “An hour or two?”

“If it doesn’t let us out what are we gonna do? We could starve or get dehydrated or—”

“Calm down,” Catra cut off as she heard the woman descend into a spiral. “There’s gotta be some way to disable the security protocol. Some control room. Eventually we’ll find it and shut it off.”

“Not if the castle doesn’t let us. For all we know spiders are headed our way now. I knew I couldn’t trust Entrapta.”

“Entrapta?” Catra quirked an ear up but feigned disinterest.

“Yeah, she sent me in here to get some chip but I bet it’s not even in here. At this point I just want to get back.”

“What does she even want with it?” Catra asked, scratching a spot in the wall to mark their way. “Adora?” When she turned Adora had an eyebrow raised. “Whatever.”

“I know we just met today, Catra, but c’mon.”

Catra rolled her eyes, “I guess there is a brain under that stupid hair poof.”

Adora’s mouth twitched up but she didn’t say anything. The hallway opened up into a huge atrium, a giant mural displaying a woman with long flowing hair and a massive broadsword.

“That’s She-Ra?” Adora asked.

Catra nodded, “She died a thousand years ago. My mom thinks she’ll return in our hour of greatest need.”

“What do you think?”

Catra met Adora’s eyes, “I think it helped Glimmer get to sleep after our dad died.”

Adora winced and nodded. Her eyes filled with—not pity, but sympathy. “I think I’d prefer that as a bedtime story.”

“What'd you have in the Horde?”

“Oh,” Adora waved a hand, “the basics. All about the razor sharp monsters on Beast Island that ate children, the weeping princess that stalked through the woods and ate children, the Whispering Woods that ate children.” Catra stared and Adora blinked. “What?”

Catra grinned, “You have to tell me some of those. Glimmer and Bow are both wimps.”

“Maybe,” Adora muttered, her face drew in on itself until it was perfectly bare and Catra wanted to punch herself. 

Every time she went five minutes thinking they were getting somewhere Adora would pull this. Her face would draw in, her eyes would go all gray, and her shoulders would form a hard line. Catra didn’t need to wait around for people, and she certainly didn’t need to wait around for Adora. 

“We must be getting close,” Adora said and moved on from the mural, her footsteps almost march steps with the syncopation she put in them.

“What does your dyslexia tell you this wall says?” Catra snarked.

Adora looked back a second, knocking Catra’s shoulder as she did. Catra narrowed her eyes at the touch, and at her tail sneaking around Adora’s ankle as she moved to stand next to her.

“Mara, She-Ra, a lot of it’s faded. Eternia. Grayskull. No hold on—by the power of, no for the honor of—yeah that’s honor not power. For the honor of Grayskull,” Adora nodded, turning back to Catra, and the entire room exploded with gold.

It traced the lines around the room and the mural until it descended into Adora. 

Catra shielded her eyes as Adora’s lit up like a firecracker. “Catra!” She screamed. Had Catra ever heard her scream before? Oh right, with Shadow Weaver.

“Adora!” Catra tried to reach out but the gold lines on the floor slammed up, forming an impenetrable wall. “Adora!” She pounded her fists against the walls. The entire castle was roaring. They were in the belly of the beast, not an empty ribcage, and it was alive. “Adora!"

“Adora,” A voice boomed out. “You must find the sword and balance the planet. Etheria needs a hero. Will you fight for the honor of Grayskull?”

“Adora I’m coming!” Catra yelled over the din. She could barely see Adora, the light was so bright. Her heart pounded in her ears. If Adora was relentless, if the Horde was relentless, it had nothing on this castle. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the chip, holding it up, “I have your chip! Leave her alone!”

The gold focused in on her and swarmed up her body. Electricity crackled through her skin, she smelled something burning, distantly—someone screamed. Everything went black.

* * *

Her eyes blinked open and immediately she hissed, trying to jump away from the threat. “Hey easy,” Adora put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re okay.”

“Where—where are we?” She looked around, the woods suspiciously familiar. “Another memory?”

“Not this time,” Adora dried her hands on her pants—they were by a creek, and Adora had splashed her awake. Asshole. “After you gave back the chip the castle let us go. You saved me.”

Catra groaned, and tried to sit up. Adora’s hand braced her shoulder blade, palm warm on her back, and helped her lean against a log. “You’re welcome.”

“You put us in danger in the first place,” Adora muttered. 

Catra rolled her eyes. How long was she gonna hold onto that? “I guess we’re even then.”

Adora nodded and stayed crouched in front of her, hand still on her shoulder. Was Adora leaning closer? Her eyes were really very beautiful, all serious and blue-gray. They reminded Catra of the sky right after it rained, when the light was just beginning to stream through the clouds. Rainbow weather. Oh yeah, Catra looked at the sky, trying to look through the branches. “What time is it?”

“It’s still early, I think it’s only been a few hours,” Adora said. She moved a little away and Catra forced her tail to unravel from Adora’s ankle. Again. She hadn’t even noticed she’d done it. It’d been awhile since she’d had such poor control over her tail.

“Are you gonna go back for the chip?

Adora shook her head, slumping down beside her on the log. “I think I’ve dealt with enough princess weirdness for one lifetime.”

Catra sighed. “So that’s a no on joining the Rebellion?”

Adora looked away, “I can’t leave—”

“Shadow Weaver. I get it. Whatever. If it was my mom I’d feel the same.” Adora put her hand near Catra’s on the ground and Catra blinked at it. “You said she saved you. When?”

“I was a baby. I don’t remember.”

Catra felt a plan coming on and she dug her hand into the ground, let the dirt collect under her claws. It’d be a bitch to clean out later but for now it was soothing, cool on her fur. “What if—what if the castle wasn’t wrong?”

Adora shot her a look, “I’m not She-Ra.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m not an 8 foot tall platinum blonde lady with a sword,” Adora deadpanned.

“Obviously,” Catra rolled her eyes, “But She-Ra was a First One. You could read First Ones writing, and that castle thought you were She-Ra.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Adora argued.

“No, but it could mean something.” Catra took Adora’s hand and Adora stared at it, before looking back up at Catra, “Do you want to spend your whole life wondering or do you want answers?”

“I—”

“I’ll find out more about She-Ra,” Catra cut off, not willing to hear the decline, “And you find out more about where you came from. We meet back up in a week, compare notes, and figure it out from there.”

“Catra, no. I don’t care if I’m the Queen of Bright Moon, I’d never leave Shadow Weaver,” Adora’s said, firmly, her fingers interlocked with Catra’s.

“The Queen of Bright Moon has an army,” Catra said. “Do you?”

* * *

Walking back through the Whispering Woods was a different experience than walking into it. Maybe they were just eager to see her go, but fewer weeds attempted to trip her, fewer branches flew into her face, and fewer leaves caught in her clothes. They also weren’t deathly silent like they had been before. A magical energy thrummed through soil, excited and alive, and… joyful. Not in all of Catra’s life had she ever heard them joyful.

As she came out the other side she was met with an entire encampment of Rebellion soldiers, arming themselves, with Glimmer teleporting all around yelling random orders.

Catra scowled. She left for a few hours and now Glimmer was a commander? Over her dead body. Literally.

She stalked up and whipped Glimmer around, “What the hell do you think—”

“Catra!” Glimmer’s eyes widened and filled with tears and she launched into Catra’s arms. “Oh my god!” Catra caught her, wrapping her arms around tight, anger dissipating the tighter Glimmer clutched her. “I thought I’d lost you!” She was openly crying and Catra furrowed her brow. An assassination attempt? An attack? Had Adora been a distraction?

“What are you talking about? Are Mom and Bow okay?”

“What? Of course they are. We’ve been looking for you,” Glimmer pulled away, wiping her eyes, and turned to the nearest soldier. They were all staring at them. Catra forced her chin up and her chest to puff out. “Tell the Queen that we’ve found my sister. And we’re going back to Bright Moon now.”

The soldier nodded and raced off, another officer called the pack up order and tents began coming down.

“Where have you been?” Glimmer demanded, her relief slipping into anger.

“I took a walk in the woods,” Catra furrowed her eyebrows, “I didn’t think it was more than a couple hours.”

Glimmer pursed her lips, “You were gone for three days.”

Catra’s eyes widened, “It—it only felt like a few hours. I—” she ran a hand through her hair and Glimmer gasped.

“What happened to your hand?” Glimmer grabbed it, examining it as if she had anything more than a field medic certification. “C’mon.” She dragged her to the healing tent and sat Catra down on one of the beds. A doctor began wrapping her hand and Catra glared at the man and her sister. “What happened?” Glimmer asked.

“I punched a tree to mark that I had been there. Like I said, I got a bit turned around.”

“You have knives strapped to your fingers, you didn’t think to use those?”

“I’m gonna kill you,” Catra launched herself at Glimmer, and it was only the doctor’s hand on her arm that held her back.

“What are these burn marks?” The doctor asked.

Glimmer’s eyes widened and Catra winced, “Um, they’re nothing.”

The doctor sighed, “Your majesty, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“That’s Commander, to you.” She ignored the helpless look he sent her baby sister, “And I didn’t ask for your help,” Catra pulled her hand away. “If you’re done I’d like to go home. Apparently I haven’t seen my mother in three days.”

Every single guard stared at her and every servant actively smiled at her as she and Glimmer walked through the palace. This was like after Thaymor when she managed to commandeer a tank and blow up the Horde attack with their own guns. They tried to throw her a party just for doing her job. She knew she probably should’ve been behaving like a returning hero, but the attention made her fur itch like it always had and she slunk down, ears glued back against her head.

“Mom made me temporary commander,” Glimmer told her as they walked back through the palace.

“Cool,” Catra muttered.

“Catra,” Glimmer teleported in front of her, “I get that you were like… traumatized or something. Or something!” She emphasized when Catra opened her mouth, “But you’ve hardly said three words since you got back and you still won’t say what happened and Mom went insane when you disappeared. So if you aren’t ready we can—”

“I’m not ready,” Catra cut her off.

“Oh,” Glimmer blinked. “Oh. Right. I thought that would psych you up. Not really—um—I didn’t actually have a plan if you said you weren’t so…”

The throne room doors slammed open and Catra winced. Her mother grabbed her and pulled her into a hug, seemingly unable to wait for them to step through the doors. “Catra!” Oh god, her mother was crying too.

“I’m fine, Mom,” Catra muttered. “I literally just went for a walk and the woods decided to mess with me. No big deal.”

“You were gone for three days!” Her mother pulled away, “Are you hungry? Let’s get you food, you’re probably hungry. I’ve already informed the kitchens to prepare a buffet. Are those burns? Was it the Horde? What happened to your hand?”

“A tree,” Catra finished. “I actually have some work to catch up on. I haven’t been commanding my armies for three days after all.”

“My armies,” Angella corrected, her voice stern. “We’ll get you caught up in a few days. As your queen I am ordering you to eat and rest.”

“Apologies, your majesty,” Catra tried to look down at her despite the impossible height difference, “Only my mother can do that.”

“Catra!”

Catra stormed out and down the hallway. Her little sister’s footsteps trailed her and she almost growled.

“Woah,” her sister muttered. “That was intense.”

“What Glimmer?” Catra rounded on her. “I have stuff to do.”

“Don’t take it out on me, I haven’t done anything wrong,” Glimmer crossed her arms and Catra rolled her eyes. Her very voice was grating right now.

“What. Do. You. Want?” Catra gritted out.

“You were gone for three days!” Glimmer’s voice reached that higher pitch it got whenever she was being a drama queen. “I woke up and you were gone and I thought you would be back for breakfast or lunch or dinner and you just stayed gone. And none of the guards saw you leave and I was trying to cover for you—like I always do—and you were just gone.”

“I can’t control the woods. That’s your thing, Sparkles.”

Glimmer yanked Catra’s arm out, displaying the lines the electricity made from the castle circling up her arm in geometric patterns. They would heal—eventually. “You’re covered in burns, and I don’t think your hand got scraped up from a stupid tree.”

“Believe it.”

“Was it the Horde?”

“No!” Catra ripped her hand free. “Leave me _alone_!”

Glimmer stepped back and Catra nearly growled. “Catra…”

Catra shoved past her, heading directly for the library. With every step her heart rate increased, she could only think about one thing: Adora. What was gonna happen to her now, if she had been gone three days? Would Hordak leave another scar? Would Shadow Weaver yell at her? Would she be punished? Would she even manage to meet Catra in a week? What if Catra never saw her again? What if they saw each other again on the battlefield?

What if Adora managed to get away but because everyone was so on top of Catra she couldn’t and Adora waited there for her and thought Catra forgot about her or didn’t care about her and never forgave her for it and Catra missed her one chance to help her?

Catra was fighting a headache when she finally made it to the palace library. The librarian, a niece or someone of someone or another who Catra was supposed to know, did a double take as Catra prowled in, her eyes widening into saucers.

So Catra didn’t exactly spend a lot of time in the library or doing school work. Sometimes she tried but the words would kinda float off the page or her blood would rush in her ears and she couldn’t hear what the presenter was saying. It was easier to skip tutoring and make them think she was lazy or a meathead than risk losing to her baby sister. 

Glimmer was amazing at school. She had a stupid planner she decorated with different colored pens and despite her room looking like a war zone, which was surprising given she never slept in it, her notes were disgustingly well organized. She always asked in a sugar sweet tone if Catra “needed any help?” And Catra always had to resist scratching out one of Glimmer’s eyes.

“Your majesty! You’re back!”

Catra glared, “Clearly. I’m looking for resources on ancient Etherian legend.”

“Um,” she blinked, and came around the desk, “anything in specific?”

“She-Ra, the First Ones, that type of thing.”

“Oh,” the librarian nodded, marching off towards the back, “We have a few tomes of that sort, though I’m afraid our collection is lacking. I keep putting in orders for more books but they never make it through the Whispering Woods.” 

Catra scowled and had to remind herself this woman didn’t even know she made it back. She probably hadn’t meant that as an insult. 

“This should get you started,” she pulled out three gigantic books and put them in Catra’s waiting arms. “Oh and probably this one would give you quite a bit of context.” She pulled out another, “But this one is beautifully written and provides such an insightful perspective.” And another. And another.

After fifteen books Catra got the memo and walked away while the woman was mid-sentence. She plopped down at a table and opened the first. She would focus and get this done and make sure Adora hadn’t put herself in danger for nothing. She would focus. She would focus. She would—

“There you are!” She looked up, Glimmer and Bow standing in front of her. “Hey it’s great to see you safe and sound, Catra,” Bow smiled. She nodded at him and glanced out the window. The sun was high in the sky. How long had she been sitting there? She looked at her books: she was halfway through the third one. She couldn’t even remember the last two. She groaned and her head hit the book in front of it. A dust cloud pillowed above her head and she sneezed. 

“Say nothing,” she growled when Bow’s eyes sparkled.

“Fine,” he said, grinning. “Glimmer has something to tell you,” he shoved Glimmer in front of him and she glared at him then crossed her arms.

“I forgive you,” Glimmer announced.

Bow face palmed, Catra squeezed her eyes shut and counted to ten.

When she opened her eyes Glimmer was still there, waiting. “And I forgive you,” Catra said. Glimmer spluttered and Catra turned to Bow. “Mind helping me figure out what this says, Arrow Boy?”

“I mean,” he sat beside her, “Sure. But I’m not—I don’t really know that much about history.” Catra had to cough to keep herself from making his lie too obvious.

“Why are you studying this stuff anyway?” Glimmer asked, leaning over the two of their heads to read the volume.

“Fun,” Catra deadpanned.

“Catra, what—what really happened out there?” Glimmer asked. She put a hand on her shoulder and Catra fought the urge to shrug it off. She remembered Adora putting a hand on the same shoulder. Was Adora okay?

“I got lost in the woods.”

“Glimmer,” Bow warned, “She’ll tell us when she’s ready.”

Catra’s fists clenched but she ignored both of them, trying to get back to the book.

_“She-Ra (or Her-Ra), known for her characteristic dragon—”_

“Catra?” Catra looked up and Bow was waiting on her, had he said something else?

“Yeah, sure, fine, whatever,” Catra turned back to the book.

_“Traveled great distances—“_

“Great!” Bow said.

She probably had missed something but it was nothing big. For now she had to focus, Adora was depending on her.

Next week couldn’t come soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i will tell my readers to let me know if they see any typos! surely they will not let me down!  
> my readers, clicking on a fic literally called 'bid my mother to bare witness (won't be driven from my seat':  
> my friend, iamasecret: shouldn't it be bear witness?  
> my readers: >:)  
> me: :(
> 
> But seriously folks: 
> 
> Huge thank you to iamasecret and organicdonut who both took a look and gave me some edits and suggestions. iamasecret has a catradora soulmate au out now that's updated regularly and has a beautiful beta. the au is called A Dangerous Partnership and it follows canon but diverges in really cool ways and there's really neat dynamics with adora and the best friend squad and the whole thing is brilliantly written and you should read it
> 
> I have written the last scene of the last chapter but nothing else! so if you want to read more comment and I'll write 500 words! I will! Literally try me I will write 500 words every time someone comments. Do it.
> 
> my tumblr is @womenlovingwonderwoman send me a message and bother me to write!!!!!!!!
> 
> organicdonut's is (and you should follow her she loves warrior nun) @lexascandlestores  
> and iamasecret's is @iamasecret and she posts about spop and is great
> 
> can't wait to hear what ya'll think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a reveal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you're sitting down for this one kids

“Catra, Catra wake up!”

Catra leapt up. The air left her lungs, and her entire back ached.

“Catra!” Glimmer stood over her, eyes wide and slightly bloodshot. “Are you okay?”

“What happened?” Catra croaked. She propped herself up, and took a few measured breaths. Her heart was still pounding out of her chest—she was in Bright Moon. _Bright Moon._

“You fell off the bed.” Glimmer helped her up, taking her non-injured hand and sitting her on the bed. Catra put her head on Glimmer’s shoulder, taking a few more breaths and closing her eyes. Glimmer wrapped an arm around her and Catra moved closer. “You were having a nightmare.”

Catra nodded. “I can’t remember.” Something sharp, something burning, someone screaming. That was it.

“Okay,” Glimmer whispered.

“I told you you weren’t allowed to sleep in my room anymore,” Catra said.

“You were screaming.”

“Oh,” Catra inched closer. “Thanks, I guess.”

“What are sisters for?” Glimmer said, and Catra smiled. “Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

Glimmer angled her head a little to get a look at Catra’s face. “Who’s Shadow Weaver?” Catra froze. “You were yelling her name.”

The burns on Catra’s arm had faded, but the scars on Adora’s would not. “Nobody. She doesn’t matter.” She pulled away. 

There was something in one of the books about She-Ra being able to withstand powerful magic. If that same principle applied more generally to energy, that could explain how she was able to survive Hordak torturing her like that. Catra definitely had a book about energy and magic somewhere in here.

“Catra,” Glimmer called. Catra lit a lamp and walked over to her bookshelf. Was it called _Energy Properties of Magic_ or _Magical Properties of Energy_? “Catra, you can't run away from this.”

“I’m busy, Glimmer.”

“I know you’re not sleeping anymore. I know that’s why you kicked me out of your room.”

Catra glared at the bookshelf. Right. A tutor had lent it to her. It wasn’t actually her copy. Another book this goddamn palace didn’t have.

“You can’t distract yourself with books and work forever,” Glimmer said. She grabbed Catra’s arm and forced her to face her. “Talk to me. I’m your sister.”

“Did mom put you up to this?” Catra demanded, jerking her arm away. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Catra, why can’t you see we’re worried about you? You’re not sleeping, and you’re barely eating, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you set foot in the library, and now that’s the only place you ever go.”

“I guess you underestimated me, then.”

“No,” Glimmer groaned. “Catra that’s not what I’m saying. It’s too late, or early, for this. Let’s just go back to bed.”

“You go back to bed.” Catra dug her claws into the carpet below her, just in case Glimmer tried to teleport her. “I have stuff to do.”

“You can get that stuff done with a full night’s sleep,” Glimmer tried.

“Tell Bow I don’t need his help, or yours. I’m Commander for a reason. I know what I’m doing. You and Mom should remember that.”

“Do you remember what you said when Dad left?”

Catra clenched her jaw, remembering Adora’s words. _“I wish I could’ve been there. In the real version.”_

“You said you’d always be there for me, that we’d always be sisters no matter what. What happened to that girl? I don’t remember the last time I saw her.”

Glimmer teleported away before Catra could respond. “Way to guilt trip,” Catra said to the air anyway. Glimmer might not have their mother’s affect or appearance, but she didn’t get everything from their dad.

Maybe Catra had been hard on Glimmer lately. But it was hard not to be sometimes. She had everything. She had magic, would inherit the throne, even their dad had liked her better. Everyone had expected her to be promoted, and when Catra was instead it took weeks for them to listen to her. Everyone always ‘forgot’ she was part of the royal family. And with Bow around, Glimmer didn’t even need her as a friend, either.

Catra sighed, but it was no use dwelling on that now when she could actually be helping someone. She turned back to the now obviously sparse and quite honestly dusty bookshelf. She was usually able to keep a pretty clean room, mostly just to piss off Glimmer, and sure she had never _loved_ reading but she wasn’t illiterate. Did she really have this few books? With a groan she let her head fall against one of the shelves.

It had become clear to Catra that the only reason the librarian had been able to recommend her so many books was because the librarian was terrified of disappointing her. Which—fine. Great. Except Catra had been forced to read trashy romance scripts from 4500 years ago and when she had asked the librarian if She-Ra (or Her-Ra? it was unclear) could really turn her sword into _anything_ the librarian had only said, “Well, I’m sure it’s based on something.”

So, after the initial two or three books about the history of magic in Etheria, and the few journals about studying First One’s tech, there wasn’t a lot of information. And absolutely none of it would help Adora.

Now she had other options. The Crystal Castle had called itself an archive—she could probably get back and pester it until it gave her something. It loved Adora; if she told it she was trying to help her, it might even believe her. But also, Catra would literally rather die than go back into that trauma-infested cesspool of horrors.

And then there was another option, but that would take at least three months. Three months without Adora; but with Adora, she could probably swing it in a few days.

It would be a lot easier if Catra could stop thinking about Adora. If every other thought in her head wasn’t Adora. But see, here’s the thing: Adora wasn’t supposed to exist. And most importantly: Catra wasn’t supposed to meet her. Catra wasn’t supposed to know that there was someone in the Evil Horde that was stupid and honest and tall and could care about people after only knowing them a few hours. Technically it’d been days. They’d been trapped walking around that stupid castle for _days_ together. It’d only felt like a few hours, but looking back on it there was no way all of their conversations, the stupid nothing conversations and asides they had had, could’ve fit into a few hours. 

Catra wasn’t supposed to know that there was someone in the Evil Horde just like her. Someone just as alone, who got separated from her family, and didn’t fit in with the people around her. And Catra certainly wasn’t supposed to know that she was in trouble. 

If Adora was She-Ra, if the Crystal Castle was right, then this war would be over sooner than they thought. And maybe they could both go find their families again. Maybe they would both get to feel safe. 

* * *

Catra counted down the hours until the week ended. She could feel Glimmer’s and her mother’s worry mounting as she got increasingly quiet and agitated, but she knew her mother’s favorite method of dealing with emotions was: ignore them and maybe they’ll go away on their own, so she wasn’t entirely worried. When at last the night to meet up with Adora came, Catra had a plan.

She invited Glimmer to sleep in her room again, smirking when she looked so relieved she didn’t question it and instead just sank into her bed. When the lights of the palace began to flicker off Catra carefully extricated herself, grabbing the pack she had left under her bed, and slipped down the hallway.

There was a troop of guards under Catra’s and Glimmer’s windows now, but Bow’s was left virtually ignored. He was snoring gently as she eased the window open, and didn’t even stir as she hopped through it.

Despite Glimmer claiming otherwise, Catra had been outside. She measured the distance between Bow’s window and the forest so she could calculate what time she needed to leave to make it to the clearing on time. Hopefully the woods would be nice enough to let her through with less of an issue than they had the last time. Hopefully they'd keep Adora safe too.

As she walked back into the woods, she couldn’t help but suppress a little shiver. They were louder than they’d ever been for her, and she immediately spotted her trail from a week ago. the twigs she’d broken, a few scratches on trees, the one or two foot prints she’d left in the mud... It should’ve faded in the week she’d left it, but the woods had preserved it, like an old drawing.

Catra got to the clearing and scaled one of the trees, finding a decent perch and waiting there. She was early, she knew. Adora would show up. She’d show up without an army or an ambush, she’d show up and she’d be fine and safe and Catra would convince her to leave and everything would be fine. Everything would be fine.

Adora was probably dead. Catra had probably let her go back there and now Adora was dead. Hordak had probably killed her. Hordak had probably found out she was She-Ra and killed her and the war would go on forever now and Adora would never get a chance to be happy and—

Someone made their way through the underbrush and Catra nearly sank out of her tree when she saw the blonde ponytail, so heavy was her relief.

A new staff bounced against that familiar muscular back and Catra slid out of the tree, grinning, “Hey, Adora.”

Adora turned, staff going straight up and Catra’s stomach dropped and she gaped. She wanted to throw up. This was all her fault. All of it.

“What—what happened?”

Adora lowered her staff and looked around the woods, attempting to hide her newest scar as her hands clenched and unclenched around her weapon. “I can’t talk for long, I—”

“Adora.”

Catra cut through the space between them, putting a hand on her shoulder and examined the side of Adora's face. It skidded across her cheek, tracing a long gash through her now cloudy right eye. She looked like Shadow Weaver.

Adora flinched at the touch but Catra was glued to the violence, forehead bent in misery. “I—”

“Catra.” The word was sharpened like a blade. Adora’s hand came to grip Catra’s wrist where it rested on her shoulder and Adora squeezed tight enough to bruise.

Catra moved her hand slowly, the iron grip holding her loosening as she did, and Adora’s body going a little less rigid. Catra’s heart pounded, terror and anger and grief controlling her in equal parts, none of the same emotions shining in Adora’s face—no emotions shining in Adora’s face.

“Have you found out anything?” Adora asked, voice carefully blank.

Catra’s mouth set in a firm line, she clenched her hands into fists, and took a deep breath. “No, Bright Moon is surprisingly understocked. Does it hurt?”

“No. And Shadow Weaver didn’t have much in her files about me either. At least not that I could see before I got caught.”

The fear, fury, and misery all rolled back into her at once like a gut punch. “Wait. Did Shadow Weaver do this?”

“I should’ve been more careful. I thought she’d be gone from her office, but—”

“Shadow Weaver did this.” Her claws fully extended and she unclenched her hands to keep from stabbing herself.

“She’s afraid. She’s worried I’m going to leave her with Hordak and—”

All this time Catra assumed the scars were from some new torture device, they were from Hordak, they had to have been. She’d even been scared, scared that Hordak had been able to mimic dark magic so well, worried what it might mean for the war if he was capable of mimicking it perfectly. Turned out she had nothing to be afraid of. Hordak was an evil megalomaniac but he wasn’t magic. Shadow Weaver was. 

“—you don’t understand, I have to protect her!” Catra focused back on Adora who was nearly red in the face with her equivocating, her naivety. People like Adora, Glimmer, Bow, and Micah—people who have something inside of them good, essential, _moral—_ they were a rapidly depleting commodity. They assumed the best of people, even when hurt they sought to improve the world around them. Catra never did belong with those people; she belonged with Angella, who sought only her own gain, and was terrified of losing what she had.

“If Hordak is the one hurting her, why do her scars look so much like yours?” Adora’s face went pale and Catra regretted the words instantly. 

Once, when Casta had gotten very drunk on Micah’s birthday, Catra had walked her to her room. Juliet, newly a general but still Juliet to Catra since Catra hadn’t been promoted yet, offered to do it. Casta was a mean drunk and had spent the entire night criticizing Angella’s decor, clothes, and complaining about never being written back. But she was Catra’s aunt and Glimmer had gone to bed and Angella had been pulled away to deal with some returning soldiers from a minor skirmish. So Catra had thanked her, squared her shoulders, and led her aunt away by the hand. 

“There’s something rotten inside you,” Casta had slurred. “I knew it—soon as I met you. You scratched up Glimmer’s face for wantin’—play. I knew it when Micah took you—when he took you in. I told ‘im, I said ‘your love is—it’s based in—in guilt.’ That’s not real love.” And then Casta had thrown up, cried, and collapsed on her bed. 

The next morning Casta had apologized profusely, taken it all back, but Catra was a shadow to Bright Moon’s shine. She was always screwing up, taking things too far, being too mean. She never knew when to stop. Or—she did, but she couldn’t. Maybe wouldn’t. She never knew and was terrified of finding out. For years she tried to tamp it down but there was something about Adora that made her claws come out, her mouth unhinge, and everything spill out—rotten or not.

“No—she—she wouldn’t,” Adora said.

“Wouldn’t what? Get so caught up in dark magic she lost control and hurt herself? Use her scars to manipulate and control you? Be specific, Adora,” Catra spat out each word and Adora shook her head, over and over again.

“She’s never lied to me—she’d never lie to me.”

“She never lied to you when you were a kid? You always knew the Horde was turning villages to dust and killing innocents?”

Adora kept shaking her head, “No, no. That was to protect me.”

“I thought you were the one protecting her.”

Adora fell silent—fell being the operative word as she stumbled back, leaning her weight against a tree and sliding down. Tears leaked out of her eyes, and her chest rose and fell rapidly, but it didn’t catch her voice—it was like she didn’t know how to sob. She could hyperventilate and cry, but got no relief from either.

“Adora,” Catra walked over, staying in her line of sight and moving slowly like one my confront a wounded animal. “I’m—I—it’ll be okay.” She ended, awkwardly. She knelt in front of her and took her hand, the fingers still healing from punching the first wall in the Crystal Castle. It matched Catra’s still healing hand. “You don’t have to go back there.”

“Where can I go?” Adora croaked out. “I’ve done—the things I’ve done—for her—and—” she started hyperventilating again and Catra quickly interlocked their fingers, squeezing.

“Hey, hey, easy. It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything’s okay.”

Adora was shaking her head, no words able to get out, and Catra began to panic. What would she do if Adora passed out? She let go of Adora’s hand and moved to sit next to her, pulling her into the most awkward and uncomfortable side arm hug. It was a little like the hug they had in the Crystal Castle. Adora closed any space between them, clutching at Catra like she was a lifeline.

“Breathe, Adora,” Catra muttered. “It’ll be okay. I’ve got you.”

Gradually, after hours maybe, Adora did breathe, going slack in Catra’s arms and slipping away from them like water. 

“Are you okay?”

Adora shrugged, wiping at her eyes.

“I know you’re scared,” Catra put a hand over Adora’s, “but I promise you’ll be safe in the Rebellion. That’s what you said you wanted, right? To feel safe? You’ll be safe.”

“I can’t. Even if—even if Shadow Weaver lied, she didn’t lie about Hordak,” Catra’s heart sunk. “He still could hurt her, probably does hurt her. I can’t leave her. I won’t.”

Shadow Weaver had taken an eye from Adora, whole miles of skin, and who knew what else. But Shadow Weaver was the helpless victim in this narrative, Adora the hero, and Catra and Hordak the villains.

But if Adora wanted to be a hero—fine. She could be a hero. “If you really have some magical destiny out there, don’t you owe it to the world to find out? You won’t find out in the Horde. You might not find it in the Rebellion, but don’t you have to try?”

Adora opened her mouth and then closed it, eyebrows furrowing. “All I can do is read some old scribbles.”

“You can read writing no one’s spoken in a thousand years and control a temple no one’s been inside for just as long.” Catra put her injured hand over Adora’s, meeting her mismatched eyes. They were the same in that way now too. “You’re special. You’re worth more than what you’ve been doing in the Horde.”

“Soon I’ll have enough Force Captains on my side and we’ll—we’ll change the Horde. We’ll make it better. I’ll be able to protect her and Etheria.”

Catra looked at the ground, thinking long and hard and already hating herself for what she had to say next. “You’ve been at it for years, Adora. How long can Etheria wait?”

* * *

It took a lot longer than that. It took hours of talking, of Adora changing her mind, then changing her mind again. Of plans on plans on plans of how it’d work and what they were gonna do. But in the end, all that mattered was that when Catra got to her feet and held out a hand for Adora to take, she took it. And she let go almost immediately but as they walked back Catra could still feel Adora’s hand in hers and hoped it’d never fade.

The palace was on high alert by the time they approached it. This time Catra knew for sure it was only two or three hours, but with the way the guards were running around it made it seem like it was two or three years.

“They’re only freaking out because I was missing for three days,” Catra explained.

“I can relate,” Adora’s mouth twitched and Catra wondered if she’d get to see her smile again.

Catra rolled her eyes, “Way to one up me. Now top this.” She stood up from the bush they were hiding behind, “Hey idiots, were you looking for someone?”

“It’s one of the princesses!” The palace guard shouted out.

General Juliet ran up to them, “Commander, we’re so glad you’re alright. Is Princess Glimmer or Bow with you?” Catra’s blood ran cold.

“What? They’re not here?” She had left Glimmer, she had done this, Glimmer was probably hurt, or kidnapped, or dead and—

“Don’t worry,” Juliet put a hand on Catra’s shoulder. “We’ll find them. But for now the Queen will want to see you. She’s been worried sick. Who’s this?”

Catra froze, and her entire body turned to lead. Who knew Catra’s weakness? Who knew when Glimmer would be least defended? Who had provided a distraction? The only thing that didn’t make sense was why she agreed to go to Bright Moon in the first place. To gloat?

Adora shuffled behind her, “Catra?” 

Catra turned to face the woman she had let manipulate her and who had taken her sister and her home and her dad. 

“Catra, you have to believe me, I didn’t know anything about this.” Adora’s eyes were wide with fear and Catra could feel her claws come out.

“How did you fake the eye thing, then?” Catra demanded, “Or are you just a method actor?”

“Your majesty,” Juliet interjected and Catra turned to her, “I really must insist I escort you to the Queen.”

Catra glared at Adora. “Arrest—”

“What’s going on over here?” A voice called. And there Glimmer was, perky and normal, and there Bow was, grinning widely and normal.

Catra jumped on Glimmer, knocking her on her back, “Are you hurt? Where were you? What happened?”

Glimmer smirked, “Not so nice when the shoes on the other foot, huh?”

“I outrank you. Tell me now,” Catra’s tail lashed. She could breathe again, her heart could go back to beating normally. Everything was fine. Glimmer was fine.

“Aww, you like me,” Glimmer teased, and Catra shot up, dusting herself off.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Mom would kill me if you got hurt. Speaking of which, we need to have a conversation about security.” She looked at Juliet. “I’ve snuck out twice, Sparkles and Arrow Boy have snuck out now, and I’ve successfully gotten a Horde officer on the grounds without anyone paying attention.”

She gestured to Adora and the guards eyes widened at her, and immediately pointed their spears at the half-blind teenage girl.

Catra grabbed Adora’s hand. “At ease, she’s a spy for our side,” she said, and pulled Adora towards the palace. “C’mon Dumb and Dumber, you know the Queen is gonna kill all of us,” Catra called back at Glimmer and Bow. Her expression tightened and she muttered to herself, “Might as well get it over with.”

“She’s not actually gonna kill us right?” Adora muttered.

Catra squeezed her hand, “Glimmer, Bow, and you? No way. Me? Maybe.”

“I cannot believe this blatant disrespect,” Queen Angella paced in front of them. “To go behind my back and endanger one of our soldiers by spying on the Horde—to lie to me outright about where you’ve been—to sneak out again—I should have you demoted!”

“Mom—” Glimmer cut in and their mother turned on her.

“And you! To sneak out when your sister had only just returned to us? Unacceptable! You say you want more responsibilities in the Rebellion then you pull this? You’re grounded for three weeks.”

“Mom!” Glimmer stomped her foot, “That is so not fair! You’re not grounding Catra and she was doing secret missions and had a secret spy.”

“All spies are secret, that’s why they’re spies,” Catra stuck her tongue out.

“Oh, I will think of something for Catra,” her mother promised, voice dark. “Now I think it’s time you and Bow went back to your rooms.”

Glimmer grabbed Bow and teleported away but not before shooting their mother a nasty look.

Then it was just the three of them, Adora practically shaking. “Mom, Adora’s had a long night and a rough week, so I think we’re gonna hit the hay early tonight.”

“Stay, Catra.” Catra gulped and wished she could take Adora’s hand again but they were clenched behind her as she stood in a near perfect soldier’s stance. “Explain it to me again,” her mother ordered and Catra sighed, sprawling onto a nearby chair despite both Adora and Angella standing. Adora’s eyes widened at her and Catra tried to telepathically tell her to chill.

“We needed an advantage,” Catra said slowly, as if explaining it to a small child. “Adora here volunteered to go undercover. To keep her safe we decided I’d be the only one who knew. Adora and I were meeting to exchange information when we got turned around in the woods. With Adora gone for so long, like I was, she couldn’t regain her status. She barely got out and I went to retrieve her.”

“And explain to me why I was not aware of her status?”

“Adora and I agreed—”

“I am your queen,” Angella cut off. “Any agreement you make with a soldier is secondary. By hiding this from me you not only endangered her life, but the lives of every one of your men. What if we were to meet her in battle? What if—”

“What if you were captured?” Catra cut off. “Or you told Glimmer? Or you instructed Juliet not to attack her during battle and someone—anyone—got suspicious? Adora knew the risks—right, Adora?” 

Adora nodded. 

“And she volunteered. And now she’s exhausted—right Adora?” 

Adora nodded again. 

“So we’re going to bed. Goodnight.”

Catra grabbed Adora by the forearm and pulled her out of the room, slamming shut the door behind her.

“That’s how you talk to your mom?” Adora muttered.

“What’s she gonna do? Ground the commander of her armies?” Catra cast a smile back and Adora smiled too. It was tiny, but Catra nearly tripped over her own feet looking at it. “Wanna stay with me tonight? We have a couple guest rooms but…”

Adora was already nodding, she slipped out of Catra’s grip and moved to take her hand. Catra tried desperately not to think about it, the implications, whatever. 

Catra moved to light a lamp when they got to her room, and even though the room was barely visible in the dim light, Adora was still gaping when Catra turned around.

“Different from the Fright Zone?” Catra asked.

Adora gulped. “Very different.”

“You’re welcome.” 

Catra whipped around. 

Glimmer and Bow had teleported by the windows, the sparkles just beginning to fade from the area around them. “For covering for you.”

“Covering for me?” Catra gaped. “You snuck out! What were you even doing?”

“Covering for you with Mom, obviously,” Glimmer glared, dodging her question. “Now are you gonna tell me what your plan is and why you let a Horde soldier into Bright Moon, or do I have to scream that she’s attacking me myself?”

Glimmer knew, somehow. And the only way she could’ve known was if—“You followed me?! Oh, you are _so_ dead!” She leaped and found herself only catching air as Glimmer teleported behind her. She leaped again but this time Bow caught her, pulling her back.

“Maybe we should have a conversation—”

“Stay out of this,” she snapped.

“Don’t yell at Bow,” Glimmer summoned magic at each of her fists. “We wouldn’t have had to follow you if you had just told us the truth!”

“I’m allowed to have a life outside of you,” Catra growled. “It’s not all about you!”

“Oh please! Your Mom’s favorite, you got promoted, you don’t ever get grounded—”

“That’s because I’m always protecting you!” Catra ripped free of Bow’s hands, “You think I got promoted because Mom trusts me? _Likes me_? It’s all about you, Glimmer, protecting the precious baby she actually wanted.”

“That’s not fair. Mom loves you."

Catra scoffed, “Mom tolerates me because Dad liked me. But even he didn’t like me as much as you. They would’ve been better off leaving me in that village.”

“Oh, so you would’ve preferred the Horde pick you up?”

“At least then I never would’ve had to deal with _you_.”

Glimmer gaped, and stepped back, even Bow stepped back, finally letting Catra go, “You don’t mean that,” he said.

Catra glared at him, at Glimmer, and then her eyes alighted on Adora who was still there, watching and waiting patiently. The two of them had a plan, Catra had a plan, Catra couldn’t let her down. This wasn’t about Catra either, she needed to fix this.

“Dad just—” Catra struggled, “He always spent time with you. I was always tagging along, watching him teach you magic. And then even when—even when he left he asked me to protect you. That was the last thing he said. It was always about you.”

Glimmer walked over to her, eyes shining. “He still loved you. And Mom loves you too. You know she always tells me she wants me to be more like you.” She gave a sad, wet little chuckle and took Catra’s hands, “‘Glimmer,’” she began, mimicking their mother’s angelic accent, “‘Why can’t you be as measured as your older sister? Why can’t you be organized like your older sister? Why don’t you ever apply yourself to magic the way Catra does to fighting?’”

This time Catra gave the chuckle and she pulled her sister into a hug, she squeezed her eyes shut, and felt Glimmer wrap her arms around her too. “I’m glad I got stuck with you.”

“I’m sorry I followed you,” Glimmer whispered. “But I couldn’t lose you too.”

Catra pulled away and put her arms on both of Glimmer’s shoulders, “Not a chance. I’ve got nine lives, remember?” Well, eight now, but Glimmer didn’t need to know that. Turned out electrocution straight to the heart hadn’t done wonders for her health.

Glimmer smiled and pulled away to take her hand again, “So what’s the plan? Who is she?” They turned to face Adora who was still waiting, ever patient.

“Glimmer, this is Adora,” Catra led Glimmer over, “Adora, this is Glimmer, my little sister.” Glimmer held out her hand to shake but Adora didn’t take it, staring mutely at her. Glimmer’s hand fell, and Catra cringed. “Adora and I got trapped in a First One’s ruin together last week.” Catra continued.

Bow’s eyes widened, “Really? My tracker pads didn’t pick up anything. That is so cool! What did you find?”

“Is that how you got burned? And your hand got hurt?” Glimmer asked.

Catra nodded, “The Castle seemed to think that Adora here was She-Ra, and Adora could read the First One’s writing. But we don’t have enough on She-Ra in the palace library to figure out the truth. But there is another library we could go to.” She looked at Bow.

“Where?” Glimmer asked.

Catra glared at Bow. Bow looked at his feet. “If we can’t figure out whether Adora’s She-Ra or not, she’ll have to go back to the Horde.” She wrapped an arm around Adora’s mid-section, feeling the way Adora tensed under her hands, but remained warm and sturdy. “Back to the people who did this.” She gestured at Adora’s face.

“Wait, really?” Adora looked over at her and Catra pinched her arm. Adora clamped her mouth shut. If they wanted to keep pretending Adora was a spy they needed to work on her acting skills.

Bow kept staring at his feet. “If only,” Catra tapped her chin, “A friend of ours was able to navigate the Whispering Woods to the largest and most comprehensive library on the planet. And knew the caretakers well enough to convince them to let us do research there. If only we knew someone like that. But if we don’t, I guess Adora’s doomed.” Catra nodded sadly. “Well Adora, might as well pack your bags—”

“Wait,” Bow sighed, “Okay so I might maybe know someplace but you guys can’t tell anyone and you have to do everything I tell you.”

“No problem, Arrow Boy,” Catra smirked, as she looped an arm around Glimmer’s neck and forced both Adora and Glimmer close. She let a fang poke out of her mouth. “We live to serve.” 

Bow sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> casta after her tweenage niece cockblocks her with the very nice new rebellion general: there is something rotten inside you
> 
> adora and bow while glimmer and catra are fighting: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
> 
> anyway: huge thanks again to organicdonut (@lexascandlestores on tumblr follow her or i will create a fake account to follow her again so she can get the appreciation she deserves) and iamasecret (@iamasecret on tumblr you better follow her you better i swear to god) iamasecret is currently writing the catradora soulmate au A Dangerous Partnership, which is a brilliant piece of work and you should read it or i will again and ive read it so many times y'all 
> 
> my tumblr is @womenlovingwonderwoman and if you drop me an ask or a comment i will write 500 more words. So. fucking try me. 
> 
> One more chapter to go! let's see what happens! Or... i guess adora won't super see, you know, cause she only got the one. Listen did ya'll think catra spent 2 chapters (10k words) admiring adora's eyes for nothing??? it's about the foreshadowing


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora tries tea, Bow suffers from high blood pressure for the rest of his life, Glimmer loses sight of what's important, and Catra references that john mulaney sketch. no not the horse one.

“I’m not an invalid Catra,” Adora jerked away from Catra’s helpful hand and Catra stuck it in her pocket. They’d had this conversation a billion times, practically since they’d gotten up.

Catra had blinked awake to Adora bumbling around her room, clipping herself on furniture, knocking things over, all whilst trying to pace nervously. It was the lack of depth perception, Catra had guessed. She tried at first to get Adora to calm down and stop pacing—when that didn’t work, a wider area to pace—and when Adora struggled to even pour herself a cup of coffee without burning herself, Catra had attempted to request a less messy breakfast.

Each time she was met with a glare and some sort of excuse, but Catra did it anyway. She thought she was giving Adora tough love, but now it was like Adora resented her for it. For helping. Which was fine. Except then why was Catra trooping through the Whispering Woods to take her to a library so they could all read books? Books were useful for two things: kindling.

And okay, maybe Catra had been a little touchy, guiding her a little more than necessary to the courtyard, letting their fingers brush when she handed her breakfast, trying to hold her hand as they trooped through the uneven ground of the forest. But that was just how Catra was. Ever since she was a kitten she’d curled up next to Glimmer in bed, clung to Micah’s legs, and even when she got older she never really kicked the need to pounce, to grab, to hold. Something about having people within arm’s reach, something about keeping them there, made her heart settle.

If Adora wasn’t okay with that then fine, Catra wouldn’t touch her.

“Watch out!” Catra pulled her away from a branch about to whack her forehead, and Adora ripped her arm away.

“I don’t need your help."

“Tell that to the last three branches your thick head snapped in half,” Catra shot back.

“If I don’t get used to it now, I never will,” Adora said, the sentiment sounding more like a recitation or an echo.

The idea of who she might’ve been echoing made Catra’s blood bowl and she scowled, advancing on Adora. “You don’t have to get used to it by getting a concussion!”

“Okay!” Bow jumped between the two of them. “So, concussions are bad, but so is not respecting people’s boundaries,” he looked at both of them. “Adora? Wanna walk with me for a bit?”

“Fine.” Adora glared at Catra, and Catra glared back, letting them walk ahead as Glimmer hung back with her.

“What was that all about?” Glimmer asked.

“Hell if I know.” Catra kicked a stone against a tree and watched it skid against a root. “Been weird all morning.”

“I’m sure she’s just nervous,” Glimmer put a hand on Catra’s shoulder. “We’re on a quest to figure out her magical destiny, after all. I’d be nervous. Actually, I am nervous. Mom’s gonna kill us for leaving when we’re grounded.”

“What’s this _us_?” Catra asked and Glimmer shoved her.

“I still don’t know how you got out of being grounded.”

“She can’t ground her commander,” Catra rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, but you’re also her daughter,” Glimmer pointed out. 

Catra narrowed her eyes, wondering if Glimmer would really keep picking at this particular scab. 

“God, I hope she’s She-Ra.” Glimmer said, looking ahead of them at Adora picking her way through the woods with Bow. He was helping her avoid most of the low hanging branches now—or maybe the woods weren’t throwing them at her anymore. They were even chatting. Or Bow was chatting and Adora was giving monosyllabic answers. But still: progress.

“She is,” Catra said.

Glimmer smiled, “Don’t get all optimistic on me now, Kit.”

Catra tail stilled, and every muscle tensed, “I told you not to call me that.” She pounced on Glimmer, pulling her in for a noogie. Glimmer laughed and teleported out of her hold, quick to dog pile on top. Catra was faster, flipping over and having her land on four sets of claws. They were laughing harder than they had in years. It was only when Glimmer was an inch away from biting her that they realized the other two were staring at them.

Bow was grinning ear to ear. “Glad to see you guys have worked it out.”

Catra ripped away, brushing herself off, “Keep your pants on. Why have we stopped?”

“My dads’ house is right past this wood. I sent them a message telling them we were coming so hopefully they’ve already gotten the books we’ll need out. We won’t have to stay too long.”

Glimmer raised her hand, “For the record, it’s not fair Catra knew about your secret dads’ secret library before I, your best friend, did.”

“Catra followed me home without my permission,” Bow said, exasperated.

Catra shrugged “Someone had to make sure you weren’t Horde scum. No offense,” she shot at Adora.

Adora didn’t react. Catra felt her claws sink into the earth underneath her feet.

“Aw, I knew you cared,” Glimmer smirked at her and Catra shoved her.

“Watch it you little—”

“Anyway,” Bow pulled off his bow and arrows, hiding it in the hole of a nearby tree. “Let’s go over the plan again. Catra?”

“Third year art student,” Catra drawled, checking her nails.

“Art major,” Bow stressed, “Glimmer?”

Glimmer smiled at him.“Second year physics—um—”

Bow took off his armor, peeling off his crop top, and Catra smirked at Glimmer’s bright red face.

Glimmer swallowed, “A physics uhhhh...”

He threw on a regular shirt and Glimmer looked away again. 

“A physics major,” Bow finished for her, tucking the shirt under his belt. Glimmer flinched at the sight and even Catra couldn’t stop the breath from leaving her lungs, if even for a minute. 

“Right,” Glimmer nodded, still fixated on where the shirt covered up his abdomen. “A second year physics major.” She sounded like someone had just died. 

Bow looked over at Adora. “Your turn.”

“Uh, third year, um mathematicas major,” Adora said, her voice a pitch higher as she messed up with the pronunciations.

Bow sighed, “Okay, Glimmer and Catra are sisters—”

“Gonna be real hard to remember that one,” Catra snarked.

“And Catra and Adora met because they were lab partners in science class, and now she’s our friend too. You all ready?”

“What class?” Adora asked, paler than usual.

“We’re ready,” Glimmer braced Bow’s shoulders, “It’s gonna be fine. I’m so excited to meet your dads.”

Bow gave a half smile, “I’m excited for you to meet them. Alright this way, gang.”

“Gang?” Catra asked, as they made their way through the last of the bushes.

“Squad?” Bow suggested.

Catra forced her jaw to clench so she wouldn’t gape at the massive structure towering over her. It was a mansion, that was for sure, complete with crawling vines for dramatic effect. It had the weathered look of something sturdy, while still managing to resist dilapidation. 

Adora was having the same issue, if her gaping mouth was anything to go by. 

The scar creeping over her face kinda looked like a vine too, like any second now the milky white of Adora’s eye would form petals and bloom. A beam of light shone down on her, the branches parting to let it through, and it gave her a sort of halo. Catra rolled her eyes.

“Laying it on a little thick, dontcha think?” She muttered at the forest floor.

“What was that?” Glimmer asked.

“What?” Catra said. “Did you say something?”

“No,” Glimmer shrugged. She followed Bow up the stairs where he was digging under a mat for a key.

Catra looked at Adora, still wide-eyed over the architecture. From this angle she looked so much younger. Catra swallowed, thinking about what Glimmer said. “If um—if Bow’s dads don’t have anything on She-Ra, or we can’t figure it out yet—that’s okay. We’ll—you’ll be fine. We’ll figure it out eventually.”

Adora blinked at her. “Thanks,” the word came out choked, and Catra blinked rapidly. “But, um—Etheria doesn’t have until eventually.” Her words picked up speed, and her back straightened. “It needs me now. Or as soon as possible. So we shouldn’t waste time.”

“Found it!” Bow called at them and Adora marched over to him, Catra trailing behind, something pressing down on her lungs.

Oh yeah, she knew that feeling. Guilt.

What was her sales pitch again? ‘Hey sorry you’ve been abused into thinking you have some massive responsibility to your abusers but you actually have some massive responsibility to us. So. Get it together.’ Oh and then: ‘If I happen to turn on you the minute I think my sister might be in danger it’s no worries! It’s your fault for being from the Horde at all!’

Catra did that thing again, that thing she always does. Casta, Angella, Juliet, and pretty much everyone but Glimmer and Bow seemed to know she was capable of it. Glimmer, Bow, and now, of course, Adora.

It was just so easy. People painted who they were across their chests, like badges of honor, when they were really targets. Targets to exploit and abuse. Shadow Weaver had painted Adora’s target straight across her face, taught her to be a hero in the wake of atrocity, and Catra used that against her. Used her.

But Adora _was_ better off in the Rebellion. Safer. 

No, Catra wouldn’t lie to herself, she was smarter than that. The Rebellion was a sinking ship. People might not last long in the Horde, but at least the Horde had technology. Catra had seen a man fried to a crisp on the other end of a light cannon and another evaporate into thin air. It wasn’t safer in the Rebellion. And that wasn’t why Catra did it. Catra did it to end the war, not for Etheria, but for herself. To finally be free.

But maybe Adora could still be better off in the Rebellion and away from Shadow Weaver. Maybe not safer, but better off.

No, Adora said she wanted to be safe. That was pretty much the only thing she could think of that she wanted for herself. Catra had taken away any chance she’d get at that. People like Adora—and Glimmer—died in wars like these. 

That was why Catra hung around. To make sure Glimmer didn’t martyr herself. But it was a full time job and her father only asked her to do one thing before he died. Catra wouldn’t screw that up like she screwed up everything else. Adora couldn’t become more important than that. She just couldn’t. 

She made her way up the steps just as Bow was opening the door. “George? Lance? Anyone home? Dads?”

“Is that my Bow?” A voice called. “Surely that can’t be my Bow? Skipping school to visit his dads?”

Bow sighed and opened the door wide enough for them all to file in. A tall man with dreadlocks and glasses came down the stairs. He adjusted them so they sat on the bridge of his nose, and grinned when he saw Bow.

“George! Axe! Bow’s home!”

“Axe is home?” Bow asked, voice coming out six octaves higher than usual.

“Come here, son!” Lance pulled him into a hug.

“Who’s Axe?” Glimmer whispered to Catra who shrugged. The name sounded familiar but Bow had been alone when she’d followed him home that one time.

“George! Axe! Bow came home to surprise us!”

“I messaged to tell you I was coming,” Bow said, muffled in his father’s sweater.

Lance pulled away, “Oh you know I don’t know how to use that thing. Now who are you friends?” He grinned widely at them. “Oh for the love of—GEORGE! AXE! YOU’RE BEING SO—”

Adora winced and Catra stepped over, feeling her heart rise to her throat at Adora’s distressed face.

“Right here, honey!” Another male voice called. 

He had gray streaks through his hair and a curly mustache. His mustache kinda reminded Catra of that captain, Sea Gull maybe, who they hired back when they were attempting to recruit Princess Mermista to the Rebellion. The attempt had been unsuccessful but Bow spent the entire trip trying to impress Sea Duck, tying knots and rambling about wind patterns. Glimmer had been furious. 

If it was any consolation to Glimmer, she seemed just as high strung as Lance—if Bow really did have a thing for people who reminded him of his dads.

“Bow!” George pulled him into a hug, “It’s so good to see you. And to meet your friends.” He smiled at the three of them. “Let me guess: Catra, Glimmer and—” He paused, eyes running over Adora’s scar.

“Actually I’m Catra and that’s Glimmer,” Catra cut in. George nodded, smile coming back but far fainter now. “And that’s Adora,” she nodded at the girl now staring straight ahead, past all of them.

“A new friend,” Bow cut in brightly. “She and Catra were lab partners, and now she’s part of the squad.”

“We’re not a squad,” Catra rolled her eyes.

“Well don’t just stand around, take a seat. You must’ve had a long journey from the academy. I’ll go get you some snacks!” Lance bustled them all over to a couch, George sitting across from them, and ran off in the direction Catra assumed was the kitchen.

“So Adora,” George straightened, “What’s your major?”

“Mathe—”

Bow coughed loudly, cutting off Adora, and Glimmer rubbed his back.

“Math,” George smiled, “I’m no expert myself but I have a son named Dirk who’s working on the great Alwynian equation.”

Catra blinked, she had an officer stationed in Alwyn named Dirk. Probably a coincidence. He did bear some familial resemblance though.

“Oh. That’s cool,” Adora’s looked like she was sweating, even from Catra’s position on the opposite side of the couch.

“What do you study?” George asked.

“Um,” Adora looked at Bow and Glimmer.

Catra gave in, “Calculus—”

“Subtraction,” Adora said. “Calculus and subtraction. I’m a—double major.”

“Interesting,” George’s brow furrowed. “Well, perhaps you should adopt a more… positive attitude.”

Bow groaned and Catra and Glimmer shrugged at each other. Adora didn’t react.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” a voice called. Catra stiffened. She definitely knew that voice, and she one hundred percent banned that figure of speech. “Hey kidd—oh.” Axe, first class lieutenant of division 6 stationed in the northern reach, stared at her, eyes wide.

“Do you two know each other?” George looked between Axe and Catra.

Axe looked like he couldn’t decide between fainting and saluting and Catra waited, curious who he was more afraid of: his father, or Catra.

He didn’t salute.

Bummer. She’d have to work on that.

“No,” Axe said. “For a second, she looked like someone I know back at the dig site.”

“Axe here is an archeologist in the Northern Reach. He runs the whole operation,” George explained to them, puffing out his chest.

“Good to see you, Axe,” Bow said. He stood and pulled Axe in for a quick hug. Axe was slightly taller than him, slightly wider, and more fit too, though he had a beard and square glasses similar to Lance’s. Axe stared over at them and over Bow’s shoulder at Catra, eyes wide and terrified.

“Axe, these are Bow’s friends Adora, Glimmer, and Catra,” George said. “They all go to the Academy of Historical Enterprises with him.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Axe nodded at Catra stiffly. He gestured behind him, “I should actually be—”

“Actually,” Catra cut off, getting to her feet, “We would love your help.” At least this would be entertaining.

Axe swallowed hard and nodded.

“That’s right,” Bow said, looking between the two of them and then at his dad. “We have a school project and thought we could do some research here. It’s on She-Ra and the First Ones.”

“Well,” George clapped his hands together loudly, and while Catra’s ear only flicked, Adora winced. “We certainly have plenty of resources on that.”

* * *

They divided the library up into pieces. Bow and Adora took the first floor: A’s through K’s. Axe and Catra took the second floor: O’s through Z’s. And Glimmer was left with the dads in the basement. Glimmer looked delighted at the prospect—Bow looked terrified. Catra could only be annoyed; the library was organized terribly.

“I know ma’am,” Axe said when she told him as much. “But I think the only one of us who’s actually a historian is Blade, and he lives just on the edge of the Crimson Waste.” 

Blade was a spy for the Rebellion in the southernmost Horde encampment. 

Axe continued. “So he’s too far to help with spring cleaning.”

“And it doesn’t help that you’re constantly sending pottery shards to keep your cover,” Catra muttered.

Lance had been so proud when he showed them off, only groaning a little when George winked at Adora and said, “Wonderful _additions—_ ay kiddo?”

Axe winced. “Please don’t tell them, ma’am. Respectfully, it’d break their hearts.”

“You sound like Bow.” Catra pulled a book from a shelf and flipped through it. “I’m not losing a decent enough lieutenant. As long as your work remains the same I couldn’t care less about what your family knows about it.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“So, do you actually know how to navigate this place, or are you just gonna stand there?”

Axe jumped into action, passing her books, artifacts, anything relevant. There was practically a mountain in front of the two of them by the time he was done, and she ran a hand through her hair, already readying herself for the headache. She hoped the others were being more productive.

* * *

“So what do we know?” Bow asked as they all sat down for lunch after a morning turning up practically nothing.

“The most recent She-Ra was a woman named Mara, around a thousand years ago,” Catra gave Adora a meaningful look. Catra had found the name early on in the search and it had seemed a good sign considering they both remembered the name in the First One’s temple. But little was known about Mara, making her another dead end.

“She was a First One,” Glimmer recited. “She became She-Ra later than most—”

“Early writings indicate She-Ra’s are born knowing their destiny,” George nodded.

“Right, so she found out when she was an adult, and died not much later,” Glimmer finished.

“What’s interesting is right after her death, all mention of stars disappeared from record.” Lance smiled, leaning forward, only to be stopped by George’s hand on his arm.

“They don’t need to hear your conspiracy theories,” George said. He turned to the rest of them. “If you let him get going he’ll start insisting dragons are real.”

“Were real,” Lance insisted. “And it’s no more fantastical than you claiming Axe’s pottery shards are from the neo-classical age and not the semi-cretaceous.”

“Anyway,” Axe said, with a tone of voice that suggested they were more likely from pottery barn, “What about before that?”

“Well, there were no First Ones before Mara,” Bow said. “But there was still mention of She-Ra.”

“So She-Ra can be a First One but she doesn’t have to be?” Adora asked.

Bow nodded. “I think so, but I think Mara was the first one to wield the sword.”

“The sword?” Adora’s brow furrowed. Catra sat up straighter. The temple had mentioned something about a sword, too. Finding one, maybe? It was hard to remember much after they entered that room with the mural. She could still remember the scent of her own skin burning.

“Ooh!” Lance sat up straight, “The sword, according to legend, is a runestone, like the Moonstone or the Pearl, but it’s portable!"

“But if Mara was the first one to use it, how did She-Ra’s before her fight?” Catra asked.

“Most She-Ra’s used a shield, but no one knows where they got the magical power,” Lance grinned excitedly. “She-Ra’s have been known to do anything from healing land, to taming giant beasts, to felling whole mountains with a snap of their wrist. All of this without a runestone! Some think She-Ra was just the title Mystacor used for their head sorceress before Mara was able to use a runestone.”

“But I’ve known powerful sorcerers,” George cut in, shaking his head at the idea. “And none of them had close to that kind of power.”

“Imagine if our aunt could do any of that,” Glimmer muttered to her.

Catra gave an exaggerated shudder at the idea and Glimmer snickered.

“But She-Ra doesn’t need a sword?” Adora asked. “How would she know if she’s She-Ra then?”

“Well,” Lance’s face went grim for the first time since they met him. “That’s the bad news. Most Runestones follow a hereditary line. Because Mara connected to one it’s unlikely anyone outside of her family would be able to connect to it either.”

“But she died,” Axe said. “And the First Ones are gone.”

“The legend says She-Ra will return to us in the hour of our greatest need.” Lance sighed, “But I don’t see how that’s possible.”

Catra interlocked her and Glimmer’s fingers, giving them a tight squeeze. Glimmer squeezed back, moving so they sat closer together. Catra could feel Glimmer’s heart through her hand, the slow steady thump that had managed to soothe her to sleep more times than she’d like to admit. If She-Ra was gone the war would go on. And like their father, Glimmer would leave her too. Catra looked over Glimmer’s head at Adora, who was staring into her lap.

“Good, if you ask me,” George muttered. “The princesses we have already screwed up everything enough.”

“What?” Glimmer glared at him, before schooling her expression, “I mean, um. Didn’t the Horde start the war?”

“You’re too young to remember the first failed princess alliance. I’m not.” George got to his feet and moved to stand in front of the fireplace, his back to them. Lance watched, brow furrowing and eyes crinkling with worry, “I enlisted, fought for what I thought was right. When I came home there was nothing left of my village but ash.”

With a pang, Catra thought of her own village, wondered if it met the same fate.

“I vowed then that my family would never get mixed up in fighting or the princesses again,” George finished, tone firm.

Glimmer looked ashamed, Bow angry and slightly sick, and Adora looked—empty. Catra wondered, briefly, if the only thing Shadow Weaver had taken was her eye.

“So what is this riddle about?” Axe asked them, voice a little shaken with his expression matching Bow’s. “The First Ones, or She-Ra?”

She-Ra had to be a First One now, because of the runestone, or sword, or whatever it was. Which meant if Adora wasn’t a First One there was no way she could be She-Ra.

“First Ones,” Catra decided. She knew what she was looking for now, she could do this. She jumped to her feet, everyone else following suit. “Adora, Bow, Glimmer—you three take the top floor, looking for the earliest accounts possible of their arrival. Axe and I will take the bottom and see if we can find anything on their biology.”

“Actually,” Axe swallowed, “We should—um—flip that. Science books on the top floor.”

“Fine,” Catra waved a hand. “Meet back here soon.” She looked at Adora, “Okay?”

“Okay.” Bow gave a thumbs up and Glimmer looped an arm through his.

“Let us know how we can help,” Lance said. The request, while genuine, wasn’t one Catra would honor. George still looked like a strong wind would blow him over, his talk of the war and the Rebellion leaving him weak. With Axe they wouldn’t need Bow’s parents, and George would never forgive Bow for tricking him into bringing back another princess. 

* * *

“There you are,” Catra pulled a seat out next to Adora and tried to swallow the hurt when Adora scooted her chair a couple inches away and didn’t look up from her book. “I think I found something.”

This forced Adora to look up. “Found what?”

“So according to this,” Catra flipped open the book she’d found and pointed to the section, “First Ones were only capable of reading their writing because they based it off the constellations.” 

“And those are?”

“Stars, or pictures people made from stars. Did you—did you learn about stars in the Horde?” Adora shook her head. “Stars disappeared about a thousand years ago, but they were like little lights in the sky. Like the moons but thousands more of them and much tinier because they were further away. The First Ones used them to navigate and tell the time of year. And their writing system was based off the constellations they drew in the sky.”

“Why is this anything?” Adora asked.

“Because,” Catra’s tail lashed, “if a First One is born under the stars they’re able to read the writing without being taught.”

“But there are no stars,” Adora pointed out.

Catra rolled her eyes, “Yeah clearly. But you can still read their writing. You must be a First One.”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “That doesn’t make sense. There aren’t any stars. There must be another explanation.”

“Like what?” Catra shut the book and crossed her arms. “We’ve been looking for hours. I mean what books are you even—” she paused as she read the title of the book Adora had been reading when she walked up. “Um,” oh god was Catra blushing? How embarrassing. She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. She needed to say something cool, something that wouldn’t let Adora exactly how fast her heart was beating right now. Something that would get Adora to explain without Catra asking for an explanation. She needed to be smart and cool. “Uh—why?” Goddammit.

Adora scratched at the wood of the table. “Do you—do you, um, remember what happened after you passed out in the Crystal Castle?”

“No,” Catra deadpanned, and Adora blushed a little.

“Right, so, um,” she didn’t look up, “you passed out and the Castle let me go, but you didn’t have a heartbeat. But the hologram said you had nine lives and would be fine in an hour or two because you were a magicat.”

“Okay…” Catra struggled. Adora still hadn’t answered her question but she wasn’t sure what an answer would even be. Curiosity? Know thy enemy? Did Adora still think of her as an enemy? She’d been acting like it all morning. But this felt different.

“I just—I don’t know. I should focus. Sorry. I should focus. I need to focus.” She grabbed the book Catra brought with her and started reading it, brow bent in concentration, too purposeful to be genuine. Her eyes didn’t even move to read the words, they just stayed at the crease in between the pages.

“Mind if I borrow this?” Catra gestured at the book Adora pushed away. Adora shook her head and Catra scooped it up, finding a secluded corner to examine her treasure.

 _A History of the Magicats._ She flipped it open and thumbed through the first few pages. A map was right after the table of contents, and she traced her finger over the curved roads. The settlements and villages surrounded a huge central city: Half Moon. The outer villages were designed to defend Half Moon, one of her tutors over the years had explained. Her mother had told her she was from one of those outer villages, one of the last, if not _the_ last to be destroyed by the Horde. Half Moon fell only weeks later.

But looking at this map, there were dozens, if not hundreds of settlements. It was hard to believe the Horde destroyed every one of them. Killed every single magicat in each of them, with no survivors and escapees. 

And if some _had_ escaped, if they’d missed even just a single village, some of her people could still be alive.

She looked up at Glimmer, who was stacking books higher and higher just to make Bow panic.

She might even have family somewhere out there. Alive. Like Adora. Her claw found the binding of the book and she carefully tore the page out. She folded it up and tucked it into her pocket. The book got placed back on the shelf like it’d never been touched. She left to look for alibi.

* * *

Hours later, Glimmer, to Catra’s surprise, was actually being useful. She had several large, cloth-bound books strewn around her and was sorting through them with an intensity she usually reserved for pestering Catra. Catra walked over, looking over her shoulder, and sighed. It was too much to expect Glimmer to be useful for anything.

“Did Lance give you these?” Catra asked.

Glimmer nodded, “Look! His first bubble bath!” She held up a picture of a tiny, confused looking baby, covered in soap.

“Where is he?” Catra asked.

“Axe pulled him away for something. Did you know Bow has twelve older brothers?” Glimmer held up another picture and Catra smirked at it.

She literally recognized every single face. All of them were Rebellion fighters. All of them.

“Mind if I hang onto this?” Glimmer shook her head, and Catra put it in her pocket.

“They’re all historians, that’s why Bow lied to them. He didn’t want to let them down.” Glimmer looked genuinely upset, and Catra blinked.

“I’m sure his brothers aren’t as perfect as Bow thinks they are.”

Cannon, for example, was a terrible swimmer.

“What does that matter?” Glimmer asked, close to tears. “His parents still think they are, and because of that he has to hide who he really is. Wouldn’t that suck?”

“Probably not as much as being the older brother and having that pressure to be perfect all the time,” Catra countered.

“I knew you wouldn’t get it,” Glimmer turned away and Catra clenched her fists.

“You don’t get it, Glimmer,” Catra rolled her eyes. “You get to be a kid. I’ve had to be your keeper since day one.”

“I never asked for that.” Glimmer shot to her feet. “And I’m not a kid. You don’t have to protect me anymore.”

“I don’t need to protect you?” Catra demanded. “If I don’t need to protect you, how come you sleep in my bed? Follow me through the Whispering Woods?”

“Ever think I might be protecting you?” Glimmer demanded, advancing on Catra.

Catra’s fur pricked up, but she stood her ground. “Spending all your time with Arrow Boy is your idea of protection? Man, it’s a good thing I’m the older sister here because you—”

“I was angry,” Glimmer cut off. “I wanted to be Commander. But I wasn’t angry at you. I can’t—I can’t remember Dad’s voice.” Glimmer’s voice shook and she looked down. “But I know you still dream about him. I know even before he—he passed,” Glimmer flinched, Catra hardened, “you couldn’t sleep through the night. You’ve already seen too much of this war. I couldn’t believe Mom would let you get involved in it.”

Catra’s fists clenched so tight she might’ve drawn blood, “She couldn’t have stopped me,” Catra growled. “I have been sparring you, and winning, since we were five. I might not have magic, but I can take care of myself.”

“You don’t have to,” Glimmer grabbed her hand, like she knew Catra was close to hurting herself. Maybe she did. The thought made Catra angrier. “We’re your family. We chose you.”

“But that’s just it,” Catra ripped her hand away. “I never got to choose. It was you or the Horde. And who knows what happened to my village.”

Glimmer’s eyes narrowed, she leaned back like she was almost disgusted with Catra, “You can’t blame Mom and Dad for that. For saving you. You can’t.”

“How can I?” Catra sneered. “I can’t even remember it.”

This time Catra was sure of the disgust in Glimmer’s eyes and she raised her chin at it. Glimmer liked to have a blind belief in things: Bow, the Rebellion, Catra, their parents. But Catra knew better. Her father said he showed up to a ruined village, her father said he took her in because he should’ve been there sooner, her father said a lot of things. Her father died a heroic death and left her with her mother. Her mother said he always felt guilty for not saving her village. Her mother said he loved her from the moment he saw her. Her mother said he had always wanted what was best for her. The truth was what Catra could observe. 

Her parents took in a child, they took in a child expecting something: some alleviation of guilt, some loyalty for saving a life. Her parents were not infallible. Her father only died because of her mother’s fallibility. 

Catra will never know what happened at that village. Maybe the Horde got there first. Maybe they didn’t. But Glimmer couldn’t hate her for thinking either was possible. Glimmer couldn’t hate her for knowing better. 

She walked away, her tail curling protectively around her ankle.

* * *

“Thank you so much for your help,” Glimmer said, packing up the few books they decided might be worth taking.

Bow was smiling too widely to be genuine again and Catra glared at him, willing him to chill out. Adora had that empty look, and Catra wondered if she regretted everything—leaving the Horde, joining the Rebellion, listening to Catra. They’d spent all day looking and were no closer to figuring out if she was She-Ra. She must’ve thought Catra let her down.

“Let us know if there’s any way we can repay you,” Glimmer finished, shaking both their hands. Catra glared at Axe, daring him to open his mouth but he kept it firmly shut.

“A friend of Bow’s is a friend of ours,” Lance said, ignoring Glimmer’s hand and pulling her into a tight hug instead.

“Besides,” George put a hand on his husband’s shoulder, “All this place really needs is a good dusting. And maybe someone who can read First One’s writing to help organize.”

Adora’s back straightened. Catra saw a hurricane coming, but it was as if she was stuck in slow motion.

“No—”

“I can read First Ones writing!” Adora said. “I have a—um another major in linguistics and dyslexia. I have dyslexia but I also major in it. Four majors. Can you major in dyslexia?”

“Adora can read First Ones Writing. Yay!” Bow’s smile widened, stretching his face almost painfully.

George and Lance started to vibrate at a frequency most commonly known to start earthquakes. George ran over, rolling up his sleeve, “What does this say?”

“Um, it says lunch?”

“Oh no,” George’s expression fell, Lance burst into hysterical laughter.

“Lunch! You thought—”

“I thought it said love.”

“Oh my god! I like this girl!” Lance was still wiping away tears when he said, “There’s one last debate you can settle for us before you leave.” He dragged Adora away and Catra followed them, playing at mild curiosity and boredom.

Lance pulled back some curtains and revealed a giant metallic ball with First One’s writing carved into it. “This was found at one of Saber’s dig sites on the edge of the Crimson Waste.” 

What a coincidence. Catra also had a soldier stationed near the Crimson Waste named Saber. 

“Thing is, we can’t agree on what it is. So, what’s it say?”

Adora approached it, tapping a finger to her chin like a total nerd. “Oh! This one’s easy. This is a password to open it.” She looked back at Catra, then at the machine. “Eternia.”

Catra’s heart melted, Adora was remembering their time in the castle too. She swallowed and clenched her fists. Did all the First One’s have a single password? No wonder they died off.

The machine’s light was blinding, giving off a sort of blue electric light as it slowly began to open.

“Ooh! It’s working! It’s working!” Lance yelled. “It’s—”

Red lights appeared at what now seemed like a head, and legs broke into the floor of the library. It looked like one of those spiders back at the castle.

“It’s a monster,” George finished.

The beast let out a mighty roar and Catra broke out of her reverie.

The others would’ve been drawn by the sounds of action. She didn’t even look around for them, letting instinct guide her.

“Axe, get the civilians to safety. Bow, get your weapons and meet us back in here. Glimmer, cover me, I’ll hold it off until they’re safe.” Catra extended her claws and, not checking that her orders were being followed, leapt high into air landing atop the monster.

“Catra!” Adora screamed.

Catra ripped into the creature’s eyes, hoping it functioned as similarly as it looked to those spiders, and wincing as her injured hand’s wounds reopened. But ripping into the eyes only revealed hard steel, not wires.

She may’ve screamed as the being threw her off. Warm hands caught her and Glimmer placed her back on the ground with a glare. With a flash, she was gone, and on top of the monster’s torso, blasting it with sparkles.

Idiot _._

Catra got to her feet, extending only the claws on her right hand, and charging in again while the monster was distracted.

It flung Glimmer off and Catra launched into its underbelly, hoping it’d be more vulnerable. Everything had a weak point, right?

Wrong. Catra’s claws bounced uselessly off of it. She ducked and rolled, the monster's razor-sharp legs scraping across her back with enough pressure to draw blood.

“Catra!” It sounded like Adora, but Catra didn’t have time to get angry at Axe for leaving her behind. The monster was headed Glimmer’s way now, and Glimmer wasn’t moving.

She leapt a third time, anything to slow it down, to give Glimmer enough time to get out. She landed on the pointed spike on its head and tried to turn it away—like reins on a horse. It bucked, and it was only by digging her toe’s claws in that she managed to stay on, clinging for dear life.

A massive roar, her own heartbeat, a metallic scraping sound.

The being’s entire torso twisted in a 180-degree rotation. Catra was facing six razor sharp legs all pointed directly at her. She was going to die. The being let out a roar and Catra closed her eyes.

“No!”

Behind her eyelids, there was a flash of brilliant light. She felt a hand on her forearm and the familiar jerk of Glimmer’s teleportation. 

She opened her eyes.

She was in the library, surrounded by books and glass and broken artifacts. Adora stood in front of the monster, glowing a brilliant gold. Her hair rippled behind her like there was a strong wind and both her eyes glowed a brilliant blue. She stretched out a hand to the monster and gently, gently, it closed its shell again. Adora sunk to her knees, glow fading, her eye returning to milky whiteness.

“Adora!” Catra ran over, avoiding touching her but so, so desperate for it.

“Bow, are your friends—princesses?” Lance demanded.

Adora stiffened, and went pale. Catra took a step closer and Adora bolted out of the library.

“And you, Axe,” George’s voice only registered dimly but Catra was able to look behind her. 

Bow, her friend, stood holding his bow and arrows, his shirt ripped to expose his abdomen. Probably torn it in battle. Axe, her soldier, stood beside him, a tomahawk in either hand. Their father’s stood in front of them, towering figures. There was a look in George’s eye she recognized from when he was talking about the princess alliance, she recognized from Adora when there was a sudden noise, she recognized from herself—unable to breathe through the panic attacks that started when she was eight. 

She was supposed to protect Bow, she had promised him his dads wouldn’t find out. He only brought them to the library because Catra forced his hand. This was all her fault.

“How long have you been in the Rebellion?” George demanded.

“Go,” Glimmer muttered, next to her. “I’ll take care of this.” Catra looked at her. Had Glimmer always done this? Was it always like this?

Catra felt a twinge of _something_ for her baby sister, but sprinted after Adora.

“Adora?” She called, stepping out. 

Adora was pacing in front of the house. Thankfully, the woods stayed out of her way, roots and branches avoiding her as she wore a path in the forest floor.

“Adora,” Catra walked over, stopping well in front of her, “Are you okay?”

Adora stopped too, almost immediately, like she couldn’t bear to be any closer. “I can’t do this. Do that. Be who you want me to be.”

Catra blinked, “Adora—yes you can. We all just saw you—”

“What you saw was weakness!” Adora’s voice cracked, like the words had been branded into her mouth. “I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe—”

“You saved me,” Catra said. “I was gonna die.”

“I know!” Adora’s voice raised a pitch. “You were gonna die, and I couldn’t move because—because—because—”

“Adora breathe,” Catra stepped closer, alarmed, and Adora took gasping breaths.

“I’m distracted, and confused. And I’m—I’m scared. And I can’t be any of those things if I’m going to do this.” Adora finally met her eyes, “Catra, I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“Adora,” Catra kept her voice quiet, stepping closer with her hands up, as if she were a wild animal.

“I can’t focus because I’m always thinking about you,” Adora whispered and Catra’s breath left her body. “And every time you touch me I get these weird heart palpitations, and I get sweaty and nervous. And back there when you almost—” her breath caught, “I couldn’t move. You almost—because I froze. And it would’ve been my fault.”

“Adora,” Catra cut off, stepping so they were within a foot of one another. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “No you don’t get it—I—” Catra looped her fingers around Adora’s wrist. She kept careful eye contact the entire time as she put her Adora’s palm flat up against her chest. Her heart was beating out of control and Adora’s eyes widened. “I—you—”

“Can I—” Catra wrapped her other hand around Adora’s neck, trying to get a better angle. She had put her claws to this neck once. Now they were retracted, her hand firm and steady. It ached from the battle, but it kept her focused, grounded. She leaned their foreheads together and she could feel Adora’s breath on her lips. 

“Catra—”

“It’s okay,” Catra muttered. 

She closed her eyes and leaned in, slotting their lips together. For a moment nothing happened. But then Adora put a hand on her waist, angling closer. Catra felt herself smile and it was all she could do to contain it as she matched Adora’s breathlessness.

Her left eyelid flashed white but she held onto Adora, not letting go until the kiss had reached its natural conclusion. And even then Catra kept their foreheads together, smirking at the pink now decorating Adora’s delicate cheekbones. Adora was smiling again, something soft and warm, and Catra tucked it in her pocket for a rainy day, with Bow’s family photo and the map. 

With a sigh, she nudged Adora to look to the side, where her bad eye had blotted out whatever had burst into light during their kiss. 

In the middle of the clearing, a sword stuck out from a cluster of stones. A single blue runestone lay in the hilt, and it glowed, despite the darkness of the forest.

“She-Ra’s sword,” Adora muttered. Catra took her hand, interlocking their fingers. This time Adora didn’t jerk away, instead squeezing her hand and giving Catra a wide-eyed look. Catra didn’t push her, didn’t answer the question laying heavy in Adora’s eyes. Instead, she only raised an eyebrow and Adora nodded.

Still holding Catra’s hand, Adora walked over to the sword and, with her free hand, reached for the hilt. Catra didn’t let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys. My living and work situation changed mid-draft, then i finished that draft and deleted it bc i hated it and rewrote the entire thing as i was looking for a new job. I got a new job! Yay! but it's gonna be super intense and terrible so I'm glad I finished this off now.
> 
> I am doing a one shot series for this fic where I can hopefully resolve some of the relationship conflicts that i've written out here. Comment any ideas or anything you'd like to see there, i think this universe is a fun one and I'd hate to leave it forever. However i am cooking up some other multi chaps so stay tuned for that, and this one shot series will be super casual, everytime i have something to post i'll do it but updates wont come as quick as with this one where i tried to do it about every week (doesn't look at calendar for this one)
> 
> A huge thank you and shout out to  organicdonut who writes warrior nun avatrice fanfic that kills me, or you can find her on tumblr  @lexascandlestores
> 
> And of course to  iamasecret who saw both versions of this and still believed in me despite how bad the first version one was jesus. She's writing an excellent fic rn called  A Dangerous Partnership  and you can also find her on tumblr  @iamasecret 
> 
> As always you can find me here and on tumblr  @womenlovingwonderwoman  where I do spop fic recs, mini fics, and the occasional meta. 
> 
> I hope you guys keep reading my stuff bc honestly your comments, kudos, and bookmarks, have meant the world these past few weeks. I mean it. Thank you so much. I feel like we got a little gang here and i'd hate to lose it just because I plotted out a story with only 4 chapters. 
> 
> Also the full list of all of Bow's brothers is (not in age order): Junior (the oldest, it's a nickname for Lance but he's a dead ringer for George), Axe, Pike, Blade, Saber, Dirk, Mace, Cannon, Clay (short for Claymore), Hal (short for Halberd), Art (short for artillery), and Dagger

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this will be around 4 chapters with my current frame work, all about this length. I've figured it all out now i just need to write it. Please leave a comment, every time someone leaves a comment i'll write 500 words. I'm not kidding, you think I won't? i will. fuckin try me bitch. lmk if there are any spelling or grammar issues (i don't consider that hate speech so plz actually do that i don't want 50 people reading this and no one saying shit like im walking around with fuckin toilet paper on my shoe). 
> 
> my tumblr is @womenlovingwonderwoman so go bother me there to write or else i won't


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